Thursday, October 29, 2009

Study Week...No..It's Assignment Week...

Hi! It seems like I'm quite addicted with writing posts...hahaha! Though this posts is done with stealing time here and there...heh!

The emoticons I'm going to use is from this website Kimmy told me..mind you there are A LOT of them! So happy~ ^^


So, let's start rambling *scratch that* reminiscing my life for the past few days...well, to be frank it is...*sigh*

Err...let's be positive now, shall we? ^_^""

This week is the study week...meaning there's no class, no lectures, no tutorials, an absolute one-week free just to prepare for the final exams that's starting next week...or so I think. Of course, there's the too-long-on-hiatus-since-God-knows-when English essay to be submitted on 28th (meaning it's yesterday when I'm writing this post) but then I thought (yes, I thought) that it should be fine. Oh how I'm so wrong...

First, I somehow mix up all my papers that consist of empty/unused yet A4 papers, used papers with my ramblings and dribbles just because I'm bored, notes, lecture notes and of course, the oh-so-thick-but-I'm-too-lazy-to-stapler-and-arrange-them notes for my English essay...which made me end up writing my essay with wrong information instead! If that's not ridiculous enough...(remember this line? Took it from Kyou Kara Maoh CF -don't know what it called, beats me!- on Animax...hahaha!!!) I only realize it when I almost finishing it already! So, you can imagine how I feel when I found that out...I ALMOST GO CRAZY!! In the end, I deleted more than half of it as it's too much to edit and my head isn't in the best condition at all so it's better to start a new one...again, or so I think...oh how I'm so wrong...again...

To start that damn essay, again, (luckily my first 3 paragraphs is okay so I have another 4 to go) means that I have to rearrange the notes (imagine the oh-so-many papers on my bed) in order to get the right information...and after that, to cut the long story short, I finished my essay...though to be frank, I believe I can do better but the end result is satisfactory enough for me...not to more last minute work...I'll die for sure...I hope madam (my lecturer) likes it! So much for an essay that made me had 2 sleepless nights...(I did sleep for about 2-4 hours make it out of 48 hours I only have 8 hours of sleep! Now, how's that...great, huh?) Now I'm remembering that incident (sheesh~ it's just 2 days before, for God's sake!) it's a no wonder I slept like a log last night...

So I finished the essay, it shouldn't be any more problem, right? Wrong. It seems like everybody is rushing to get their report/assignment/etc. printed at the same time so you can imagine the queue and crowd in the's quite a chaos! Luckily I'm quiet early so there's not really much trouble...until I met a classmate from my C++ lecture me a piece of news that ruin my life for good...

Friend: Heiji (of course she calls me by my real name but hey, I'm not going to put it here for good, isn't it?), do you know that the C++ tutorial has to be submitted today?

Me: Huh? Isn't it tomorrow?

Friend: No, it's before 29th...meaning the last day...

Me: OMG!!

And there I am, rushing again, (really, my life for the past days is all about rushing due to assignments...) printing the tutorials, sending them and all and perhaps I'm lucky enough that I manage to settle it all on the end of the day...I was exhausted like hell...not to mention I don't eat anything at all during the day...I have my one and only meal at night...perhaps that add up to my soundless sleep last night...don't get me wrong, I think I do sleep like a log every single night but that was one of the rare times that I immediately slept as my head touch the bed...(I don't have pillows, not because I don't buy it but rather I don't like using them...haha!) like I'm getting hypnotized or something...but either way I think it's good for my health! I'm quite energized today!

But it's been raining so bad my mood is quite's great that it's raining but somehow I'm getting sad a bit for no apparent reason at all...I admit that something had been troubling me (amidst of all the things happening) and actually it's fine already by the time I'm typing this but then again perhaps the rain adds up a melancholy feeling for good measure...

To sum it all up...this week is supposed to be study week but to me (some of my friends also agree to this) this week is actually assignment week...*sigh* But it's not that my life is all gloomy and grey...there are also happy things around! I get another good amount of anime from a friend that all my anime collections now leave about 12 gb free space out of 297 gb available in my external hard disk...hahaha! And I even manage to finishing one series (this person...seriously??!) in marathon mode (oh dear...) and I can't help but promoting it to my other anime-loving friends! The title is Special A (it's quite famous) and now while typing this I'm actually reading the manga! hahaha~ Speaking of manga...hehe~ (I'm going to be yelled for good...) I finished a series also in marathon mode (you what?!)...the title is Penguin Revolution by Tsukuba Sakura-sensei (I'm sooooo loving her work!) and don't worry, I'll post something about this 2 series...I'm sooo gonna do it!

About the troubling's a long story but I'll make sure I post about it too! Maybe tomorrow...? Can't really say for sure...I might going out to town tomorrow...have to return the books to the Labuan's past the due date 3 months ago! I wonder how much of fine I'll be money...

Alas, no matter what I really should be studying...exam is next week...NEXT WEEK!! Guys, do push me and pray for my success!

Hmm~ I guess that's all for now...boy, I really can write a lot! Speaking of writing...(you still not going to stop??) I have completed and confirmed the plot (I don't write it down..yet) for Chapter 2! hahaha~ I really having trouble with it...I mean, this is the third draft already! I'm not one with drafts so this is quite depressing...sigh~ But now it's finalize I can really make it work for good! ^^ Do anticipate it...after my exams...sigh~

I really should stop common sense is forcing my hand to stand typing already...hahaha! For those going or having exams right now, ganbatte kudasai! Do your best as I'm going to try my best too!

Till then, ja ne! ^^

Music of the day: Moon Hee Jun- Toy

P/S: A rock korean song from an ex-member of a now-disbanding-idol-group H.O.T...I must say this song keeps playing in my head when it was raining just's a rock song alright but what adds up to the melody is the orchestra accompanying's so damn cool! I'm currently listening to the song in repeat mode while writing this down...hehe~ Check it out in my playlist below! ^^

*Quick rambling*

Somehow I realize I do love writing posts...there's just so many things to tell perhaps~

I know it! Let's end this for good in a Literally-style...meaning my style in ending one part or a chapter, usually a cliffhanger...I think that's why people love and hate me and my writing...haha~ (just do it already! You passed the P/S section for good measure now!)

I think this is a good one. Hope so, considering my weird state of mind for the moment. Might continue doing this in the future...sounds great! ^^

Common sense: I give up...this person...just can't stop writing...*sigh*

Me: I'll finish this then! But do help me think on the name section like music of the day is me introducing one no idea for the moment...

Common sense: You...

Me: Sorry! (^_^)"

And as the rain falls, he hang his head low, making no attempt to move at all. He just closes his eyes, feeling the rain, drowning in it.

When he finally walks and stops abruptly in front of a shop window, he meets his reflection.

There was him drenched in rain, not even bothered to seek shelter like others. There was his hair damped to the forehead. There was his lips, pale, shivering much. There was his face, expressionless. And then there was his eyes, dark, cold, empty.

He remembered, there were moments of gold, there were flashes of light.

And then there were none.

Monday, October 12, 2009

7 Years of Love

Hi! Konnichiwa~ Okay...this is one fast post (considering I usually took A LONG time for the next post...haha!)

I'm ready to be yelled at when I'm writing this post actually...this is because...I...despite that my English essay is a whole lot more important...I spent about 2-3 hours listening to the song 7 Years of Love by Kyuhyun from Super Junior (yeah, the one I'm going crazy about on the last post) on repeat mode (imagine listening to the SAME song for a freaking 3 hours non-stop) while writing down a one-shot essay (yeah, you read it right, I'm writing down a NEW ESSAY instead...) Really, what is wrong with me??! Damn it, come back to your senses!!


But really, I know the song is damn slow (not to mention a ballad, a freaking soft ballad!!) and nice and all but really, I'm not (never) really into ballad before...this song is just turning my world upside down, perhaps...I mean, what the hell is wrong with me??

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By heijihatsutori at 2009-10-09

Anyhow! I manage to finish it (with a constant fight with my common sense to drop it off and write my English essay instead) and so I'm posting it here, as usual. I planned to make it like the song's lyrics but somehow it turned out like this instead...I post the lyrics too and you can listen to the song on my playlist below.


So folks, do give me your opinion! Pardon the dark feeling, my head was kind of emo last night...the title is of course, the same as the song


He wants to move, but somehow, he finds himself there, stuck.

“It’s been awhile.”

The same smile, the same tone, the same lively black eyes, the same thin red lips, the same pointed nose, the same small face, the same raven black hair, the same pale skin, this person in front of him did not seem to change at all.

“Indeed, it’s been quite some time now.”

As the person walks closer, he notices that there are some changes after all. The person is astonishingly taller than before, and he did not fail to recognize the all brand new Channel bag on the left shoulder. More stylish, this person is, no more a geek who cares nothing about the world and just grabs anything from the old wardrobe with no sense of fashion at all.

“How long has it been, I wonder; five, six years, perhaps? How are you doing?”

It has been seven years, actually. But he do not want to say it, so he just smiles and look down; careful not to meet the gaze of the other. For he knows, too well, what those eyes can do before, and still do now; suffocating him and strip him off naked from all the lies he built inside. Those eyes can read him straight to the soul; it’s always just one way or another. And he can never win, even after all those years, he finds himself helplessly dying.

“I’m just fine, how about you? You seem to be good too, no?”

The smile widens shyly, the right hand unconsciously rubbing the back of the neck. Old habits die hard, and he can read those perfectly as always, like a book. The sudden silence stirs the nervousness inside him but of course, he does not let it show on his face. He loves the ability of his to wear the relax expression which is close to perfect anytime and anywhere and he knows very well that he never will be more grateful for it than now.

For a moment they just stand there, close but not close enough, a gap existed between them in a space of a person’s shadow. Somehow, they look so pure, just looking around but at each other; he still successfully avoiding the other persons eyes and gaze. There is no air of awkwardness around them, much to his surprise. He looks up at the sky, grey, with shades of white and black overlapping like a painting he once did at high school for art class. He stole a quick glance at his left as he lowers his head down, notices the gaze is fixed at the sky too.

“We never really changed, did we?”

He inhales his breathe deeply, closing his eyes. Indeed, staying like this, just like how they used to a long time ago, makes those days felt like it just happened yesterday. They never were a good talker, nor were they a good listener either. They just stand, look around, and stay in silence, enjoying the other person's company. It never really matter how long had it been since they last see each other actually, for somehow, they will be no words. Like before, like now. It has always been like this after all, he thinks; quiet, slow, and silent. He never is one for words anyway so before he thought of this as somewhat pleasant. But now, after all those long years, he finds himself changing. It is no more pleasant, for the silence starts to kill him softly inside. He wants to say something; he wants to have a good, decent chat, like what normal people will do. It has been seven years after all.

“I think I did change, in one way or another.”

He says it, still staring at the ground. The sound of bus and car horns blazing past his ears, it is rush hour after all, not like he really cares. He leans back towards the wall, channeling his gaze towards the road. In the heart of the city now they been, sky crawlers surrounding them yet it feels like home, just by standing like this. How ironic, he thinks as he adds in.

“It’s been a long time, after all.”

He can feel the gaze on his face. He inhales softly, closing his eyes. This weird relationship of them is platonic, blurry and full with grey. There is no definite definition for it and he himself do not quite sure what is it between them anyway. They are not really friends; he hardly knows the other person as much as he knows his colleagues in the office he worked for past six months. Yet they knew each other for the longest time in their lives. Again, how ironic, we both are, he thinks.

“We, what are we actually?”

This time, he turns his head to the left, to the other person, who exhales deeply, the eyes close. Slowly, the eyes open back, and for the first time, their gazes meet.

“I’m getting married.”

His breathe stops somewhere between inhales and exhales. First drop of rain hits his shoulder.

He wants to move, but somehow, he finds himself there, stuck.

So~ how is it? Do give me your thoughts! I'm thinking of posting this on my Livejournal page along with my other stories but I'm too lazy to keep up with two blogs (remember my friendster blog? I DELETED it in the end) That's just a plan though...for my livejournal account currently have NO post at all so it look kind of pity..perhaps...(joining it just so that I can continue downloading actually...hehe~) But there are a lot of nice things too there so yeah..why not? But absolutely not now...that's final.

Here's the lyric of the song...I must say I've fallen for Kyuhyun's voice...this song suits him perfectly! Not to mention he's always one of my most favorite member in Super Junior before...hehe~

Kyuhyun from Super Junior -7 Years of Love

chilnyeoneul mannatjyo
amudo uriga ireoke
swipge ibyeolhal jureun mollatjyo

geuraedo urineun heeojyeo beoryeotjyo
gin sigan ssahawatdeon gieogeul namginchae

urin eojjeom neomu eorinnaie
seororeul manna gidaenneunji molla
byeonhaeganeun uri moseupdeureul
gamdanghagi eoryeowonneunjido

ibyeolhamyeon apeudago hadeonde
geureongeotdo neukkilsuga eobseotjyo
geujeo geunyang geureongabwa hamyeo damdamhaenneunde

ureotjyo uuu sigani gamyeonseo naegejun
aswiume geuriume naetteutgwaneun dareun
naui mameul bomyeonseo
cheoeumen chinguro daeumeneun yeoninsairo
heeojimyeon gakkaseuro chingusairaneun
geu mal jeongmal matneunde

geu huro samnyeoneul bonaeneun donganedo
gakkeumssik seoroege yeollageul haesseotjyo

dareun han sarameul manna ttodasi
saranghage doeeosseumyeonseodo nan
seulpeulttaemyeon hangsang jeonhwalgeoreo
sorieobsi nunmulman heulligo

neodo joheun saram mannaya doenda
maeumedo eomneun mareul hamyeonseo
ajik nareul johahana gwaenhi dollyeo malhaetjyo

arayo uuu seoro gajang sunsuhaesseotdeon
geuttae geureon sarang dasi hal su eopdaneun geol
chueogeuro nameulppun
gakkeumssik chagaun geuael neukkilttaedo isseoyo
hajiman ijeneun amugeotdo yoguhal su
eopdaneun geol jal aljyo

na ije gyeolhonhae geu aeui maldeutgo
hanchameul amumaldo hal suga eobseotjyo
geurigo ureotjyo geu ae majimak mal
saranghae deutgosipdeon geu hanmadi ttaemune



We met for seven years
No one knew we would say goodbye this easily

However we still separated
With the memories we built for a long time, now gone

How did we at such a young age
Meet each other, I don’t even remember how
Difficult for us to handle the maps of our changing selves

They said saying goodbyes are painful
But I didn’t even have time to feel that
I just thought this is the way staying composed

But I cried
Time passed it gave me a simple yearning
Different from what my mind was seeing
At first friends then next as lovers
We said we’d stay as friends even if we separated

During those 3 years spent alone
We contacted each other sometimes

Even if I met someone else again
Even I loved again
Whenever I was sad I would call you without a word just tears falling

You have to meet a good person
I thought in my heart without any words
I asked if you still liked me without any thought hoping you say it back

I know
We had the most pure love
Back then we thought that kind of love couldn’t be done again se we saved it in out memories
Often I feel a cold feeling from you
But now I know you can not ask anything

“I’m getting married” is what you said to me
After that for a long time I was speechless
Then I cried they were your last words to me
For the only words I wanted to hear was that you loved me

I forgot where did I took the lyrics...maybe at if I'm not mistaken...give the credits to those who deserves it! ^^

Till then, do hit me back! Ja ne~


Music of the day: Kokia- Karma

P/S: Just added to the playlist before writing this check it out! It's the OST of anime Phantom~ Requiem to the Phantom...really want to watch the series~ ^^

Friday, October 9, 2009

Events and New Playlist!

Hi! Hisashiburi desu ne~ It's been awhile now, isn't it? (Really, it's always been awhile...*sigh*)

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By heijihatsutori at 2009-10-09

Found this emoticon on google images...haha! Think it looks more to tired (?) but the caption says sigh so...maybe going to look for a better one...


A bit exaggerating...perhaps? haha!! LOL

I am not one to participate in activities much, and usually tend to skip them (I once skip the whole Teacher's Day celebration reading manga in the class alone when I was in high school...haha!) and go off hanging around...alone if I feel like it..really, somehow I'm content when I'm alone...weird huh? hahaha!!


Have to admit to that...I'm quite a weird person myself...

Anyhow! UMS-KAL (or the long name Universiti Malaysia Sabah Kampus Antarabangsa Labuan) was quite busy (the people; lecturers, staffs, and students of course) for it is the time for the convocation for the graduating sempais! Indeed, UMS is kind of late...most of the other universities had held it during June or commemorate the big event a Convocation Fair was held on the 1-4 October. There were lots of things going on; competitions (paintball, karaoke, etc.), exhibitions (from PPIB subjects; Study skills, English and foreign languages) and much more (can't quite remember, pardon my not-so-good memory)!

It was quite interesting actually, the overall event, that is. Everybody was so busy to begin with and the holiday mood was still lingering in the air (it was not long after the 1-week holiday after all) thus the flow of everything was smooth with excitement on the faces of the students (though I bet it's because the of the class cancellation).


The best thing about the whole affair is the exhibitions (for me). It was held at the Menara, a strategic place if you ask me because it's where almost ALL of the students will go everyday; for classes, lecturers, offices, all of them are in one place; the Menara. One thing is that they remove ALL of the tables outside; meaning no plug, no electricity, and for me, no laptop's battery is not too reliable, mind you.

Still, the exhibitions are sooo good! They came up with different themes each day (well most of them are) and it was so exciting! If I am to pick the best it will be the Japanese section (I can be bias). They have this big tree like sakura tree (of course it's fake -only the body of the tree is real, the flowers were paper-made) but then who cares? It's pretty!

Also, I manage to learn a bit here and there on hiragana; I wrote 'ganbatte' on the bamboo stick/plane (don't know what to call English somehow is deteriorating (?!)) to be hang on the tree...(it's a belief for Japanese to write down wishes on the bamboo and hang it on the tree to make it come true -of course I don't believe it but hey, just write 'ganbatte' mean no harm, right?)


They also sold souvenirs like handkerchiefs, hand-made fan (which both are now safely in my bag), stickers, cards and the most kawaii (I also bought this for only RM1.50!) teruterubozu! (a cloth-made doll hang to make sure it's not raining that day...there's something about facing the face of the doll outside and inside hoping it will be sunny or rain but I forgot...try google or search in wikipedia...they have almost anything, mind you). I will be glad to post pictures but my hand phone's camera is just so-so and the image quality is low so I drop the idea off.

English section was conducted by some of my English classmates and I must say they did a good job! There are quizzes (Japanese section got it too...about general information of Japan and I got 20 questions right out of 30...quite good myself, no? LOL), riddles, information and they are all so fun! I tried the quizzes and fail twice, miserably...and the one conducting the quizzes just look at me like 'seriously??' He didn't say it but his face tells all...*sigh* I feel like hiding myself for real at that time...


Overall, other exhibitions are not bad either and I enjoyed myself to the fullest!! During one night (forgot which day -really, what do you remember??) the students (perhaps sempais) of International marketing courses held the Moon Cake Festival! My friends and I (there are quite a number of us) lit up the lanterns and just walk about and goofing around...taking a good look at the scenery...


Haha!! I don't move like that, at least...

Then I follow another bunch of students (my friends are going back already) and we walk all the way to the beach! Our campus is right in front of the beach after all. The night is cool and it is not windy at all thus we manage to keep the lanterns on! The scenery id really beautiful...for the only light came from our colorful lanterns and glowing stick (my stick practically still glowing till now!) which I curl up to wrap my left wrist, like a bracelet of sort. I make friends with a some of them (it's about 10-12 people altogether!) and they're all nice! I'm glad, really.


Overall, unexpectedly, I really have fun! I don't think that I will enjoy the whole event so much at the beginning and by the end of it it's great to realize that I have a good time! This is weird of me actually but I think I'm going to look forward for the next events or festivals...hope that it'll be great!!


Next up is...hehe~ blog has a new playlist!!! haha~ I found the website quite some time ago but never really browse through it...I'm glad I took some time to do so!! ^^ The songs (or should I say, videos) are attached from Youtube and it might take some time to load...still, I hope you enjoyed my selection of songs!! Most (or should I say all of them) are songs that I am really hooked on this days! I might be posting some lyrics or them after this...if I'm not lazy enough, of can check the song's videos (this is confusing -for all of them are Youtube videos; mvs, lyrics, or just pic of the singer) by clicking the word 'video' on the link and 'close' t return to the playlist. Note that it won't affect the song flow if you click either of do check it out!!


The genre of the songs ranges widely from pop, rock to even ballads (I'm quite into soft ballad songs lately; what is wrong with me??) and the singers are also in variety (compare to my old playlist which have almost all of TVXQ's songs in one order) so that the style is perhaps...more interesting? haha!! So far there are about 42 songs altogether (when I'm writing this post) but going to add more in the future...people, do check out all the songs! There are awesome!!


If I am to recommend the songs, it will be, ALL of them...for I'll be having hard time to choose...haha!! But seriously, all of them me...hehe~

I've been browsing through lately and I notice that the posts there have something like current music and current mood of the person posting the post and I feel like 'wow, cool' kind of feeling...not the mood part (I can't quite figure out my mood for most of the time) but the music part so I'll start doing it too (As if the p/s on the bottom of the posts did not mention the songs already). This will replace the p/s and make my posts look what, cooler? hehe~ Current music sounds like I'm plagiarize it or something though so I'll change it to...hmm...let me think first...haha!! Hope that those will be a (kind of) good recommendation for you guys! ^^

It is a long post, this one...(I wrote all THIS??) so it might take some time for the next post...for now I'm finishing my English essay (seriously, this essay takes a lot of space in my head lately), hopes to finish Chapter 2 too (been in a LONG hiatus already...sorry for those who are waiting...the so-called writer's block hit me hard) and the final exams are approaching (it's on early November) so I really have to study hard...minna-san, wish me luck! ^^

Till then, take care! ^^


Music of the day: Kyuhyun from Super Junior- 7 Years of Love

P/S: I don't think I can remove the p/s after all...can't fight the urge to add my comment on the does it sound? Music of the day, that give your opinion!! Also, I told you I'm into soft ballad alright...rewinding the song for about 5 times already today...just can't get enough! O_O~ I'm soooo random, really. *sigh*