I'll say this straight, this posts is the result of boredom and internet being slower than usual I'm on the verge of breaking something and decided to write something so that I won't end up doing something I regret later. Get the idea? Good. Basically I feel like ranting anyway so bear with me, or simply close this tab/window. Heh~
So, looking at the title above, it sounds a bit, uh, uncreative? Nevertheless it sums up what this post is all about, which is a good thing considering I basically am a complete fail when it comes to summary, really.
I'll try not to rant too much, but I know better than to trust my fingers when it starts typing so...
Of blogging, the idea of writing this posts is due to the fact that I felt extremely bad for this blog for having such little posts. I mean, this is my 5th post, this year. And it's like what, 3 freaking months already! Damn, I'm such a lazy blogger, ain't I? LOL.
This brings me to the very reason WHY I made this blog at the first place, (quoting En. Yuszren my Technopreneurship lecturer: Know your aim/reason and stick to it -ok I admit I made that up but I know it's something along the line. LOL.) which is of course, for my writing. Now that I'll no longer posting it here and move it to Livejournal instead (read further in last post, there's a damn explanation there) this blog kind of lose it's meaning (to my horror!) but I don't want to delete it either so the best way is change the reason, the aim.
Besides, it's not that I only post my writing, there's also random rant (like this one) and manga/anime/drama etc. recommendation which usually the result of my flailing over the said series. So, again, I'm reassuring everyone here (and myself) that NO, I'M NOT GOING TO DELETE THIS BLOG. Okay, it's final~ ^^
Of life, I kind of having it bad now. It's 3 weeks (or is it 2?) to go to final exam for the semester (time sure flies~) and Technopreneurship kind of driving people nuts for a reason. The assignments are never-ending (so as Japanese, but that's a different story altogether) and like I said, it drives people (me) crazy. By the time I'm typing this we're to hand over our Business Modal by Friday as our final assignments before the ultimate presentation next week. NEXT WEEK. I'm so dead. It's now confirmed that Techno (the shorter way to say it) is one of the subject that practically kills me for good.
I went to UMS Sejati Camping before (last 2 weeks? What happened to my memory?!) and it brings a mixture of feelings. One, I like it was held by a beach (always have a thing for beaches and nature. Save the Earth!). Two, I hate it drained my energy like what and cramp both my legs (never the outdoor type I am). Three, it is the same week with Super Junior Concert in KL (not like I can go but yeah, I have mixed feelings because of this, perhaps).
It'll be a whole lot of work to talk (type) about the camp so I'll just drop the idea off. Besides, it's not like it's that interesting and whatnot to share. I'll just keep it in memory~ ^^ I wrote something during the camp though, and as much as I like the draft, I don't have a plot. Which sucks, big time. I mean, what the heck is a story without a plot?! I have about 5-6 drafts with lack of plots hanging around in my laptop (and that excluded the draft for Chapter 2) I find myself blank more often than not. The last time it happened like this is before I had my major writer's block before, to my horror!
I seriously need to work my brain, really. To add to that, don't expect any new updates in the near future. I might starts posting the one-shots that already existed here of simply finish posting the three-shot (you know which one, it's too long for a title I don't have the heart to spell it out now).
A few days after I got back from the camp, and my legs starts to feel better from all the fatigues, I fell down the stairs, like, really. It sounds stupid, I know but it's no joke when I twisted my left ankle and hey, it's not my fault that blog have the lamps broken (it was at night) and the stairs are slippery, right? Talk about bad luck. But then, thank goodness I just missed about two steps, or I'll be in ER for good. Heck, I even climbed up to my room on 4th floor like right after the incident! Haha~ By now it's already okay (I can already walk like usual) and I think I can even starts running around too. There's still a soft pain if I stretched the leg in a roundabout way, but other than that, I can say I'm (almost?) fully healed~ ^^
Reminder to everyone (and me), take care of your health (leg)~ LOL.
Of Japanese, (damn this post is LONG for a rant!) I've done my oral test and have to say I'm really proud of how it turned out to be. I don't stutter much like the practice time and it end up goes smoother than I thought. I also seems to adapt myself comfortably with how Fuji-sensei works and it surprised me to no end how I don't really depressed because of the home works compare to other subjects, much to my own amusement~
My friends been asking me to teach them Japanese now that I have the opportunity so I was thinking of putting what I learned here in this blog. Which brings us to the reason/aim up there. Instead of moping about not knowing what to do with this blog, it'll be great to give it a brand new purpose, no?
So! I guess it's final. I'll use this blog as my other Japanese textbook and put it all here. I might start this project this end-of-semester holiday, which is for about 2 months, so do expect more updates on May-July! ^^
I'll try to finish up those drafts too during the period, for now I'm going to focus on those darn assignments and the upcoming final exam so do give me support, minna-san!
Till then, ja ne~
Music of the Day: Outsider-Acquintance
P/S: Korea's fastest rapper is back with a new song and he is still so damn fast as ever. The melody is awesome and if you like Loner, you'll definitely love this one, hands down. I have a hard time figuring out the mv though, anybody mind to tell me what in the world is it about? LOL.
In my playlist which tends to give me hell these days. Something to do about YouTube and streaming and bah, idek.
~The-Too-Much-Typing/Ranting Heiji.
Planning to organize my blogs, and when I said 'blogs', it's both this one and Livejournal. I realized my posts (or rather the writings) are quite scrambled around the blogs, so might put more links to connect the stories together.
Of course, this is a plan which will be a reality in the future (not now, please) as it already have almost 90% approval in my head.
Talk about irony~ heh!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 3-I and The Incessant Restriction of Catharsis
It's been awhile, but then, what can I say? And the title is a bit...long? LOL.
Just like what I've mentioned on the last post, I've decided to post my stories on Livejournal ONLY, giving that Blogspot hates me to the core when it comes to my stories, much to my dismay.
But don't worry, I'll post the link to it here, and no, I'm not going to abandon this blog. Livejournal is strict to my writing, and writing only. I still going to rant once in awhile here~ LOL.
It feels a bit sad thinking the posts here after this will not be as long as before (I realized my friends' post here in blogspot gets shorter by time, I wonder why?) now that there are no more stories, but I'm assured that it is better this way. It took me less than an hour (heck less than half an hour maybe?) to post 3 stories all in one go, and have to admit I'm really happy with it. Even the stories come out more organized and neater to my liking~
I don't lock my posts (they have that function there, mind you) so don't worry of not having an account. You can still view and leave comments there (as anonymous maybe, I'm not really clear about that. Do leave your name if you leave it as anonymous so I can know who you are~) which is of course, highly appreciated~
So far, there are some one-shots that available here and not there but I planned to posts it all there, along with the further installments. I don't plan on deleting the stories here though, so don't worry.
The cuts on Literally -Chapter 1 is the same here and there and I don't finish posting it up there yet. I suggests you to read at Livejournal more as it's clearer and I have some sort of format set up there, like the addition of Summary, rating, and all. But then, it's finished here already and no, I don't edit the stories there, it's still the same~ Just some format. ^^
Basically I'm rambling too much here now, perhaps...
The updates is A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 3-I [The world we knew won't come back]-, which is, of course, the next update of the damn long three-shot. If you're wondering about the Part 3-I, read the A/N there. Haha~! Kill me, I know you want to. LOL.
Also, a new one-shot I wrote while in the midst of finishing the three-shot (pardon my laziness to type out the LONG title, why do I have to make it THAT long?), The Incessant Restriction of Catharsis. I love beautiful words, and might had accidentally abuse that liking in naming this story, which comes in a spur of the moment, really. Heck, everything about that story is on-spot idea, with no planning whatsoever, to my horror! LOL.
Hope that you enjoy the stories and leave some comments! It's okay to leave it here too, like Livejournal (as there might be people who are not sure) you can comment as anonymous but leave your name so I can identify who you are~ ^^
Oh! The comment section is the Secret Shelter, named after my favorite songs, LOL.
EDIT: Labeling this as One Shot Essay due to the links provided, and I'm Soooooo Random because, well, I am random, no? LOL.
Till then, ja ne~ Going to study for mid-term later...T_T
Music of the Day: Gackt-Redemption
P/S: A J-Rock from the oh-so-awesome Gackt. Heard about him earlier than TVXQ actually but never really got around to listen to his songs and Oh. God. It's damn rock! He's voice singing live (Japanese singers don't really do lip-syncing as far as I'm concern) is darn rocking (try watch his MKMF 2007 performance, that's where I first heard him anyway, heck even Heechul got his jaw dropping if you realize)! This song reveal the power in his voice and if you love Rock at its best like me, you'll love this, hands down.
In my playlist as per usual. Do I really have to mention this anytime I wonder? LOL.
~The-quite-blur-and-blank-at-the-moment Heiji.
P/S: Must be the aftereffect of turning 20...yes, that must be it~
There's some interesting things going on that day, and thanks (again) for the people who make it a damn memorable day to remember. Guys, you're darn awesome~
Post about it? Nah, it's too long already...better keep it in memory~ ^^
Just like what I've mentioned on the last post, I've decided to post my stories on Livejournal ONLY, giving that Blogspot hates me to the core when it comes to my stories, much to my dismay.
But don't worry, I'll post the link to it here, and no, I'm not going to abandon this blog. Livejournal is strict to my writing, and writing only. I still going to rant once in awhile here~ LOL.
It feels a bit sad thinking the posts here after this will not be as long as before (I realized my friends' post here in blogspot gets shorter by time, I wonder why?) now that there are no more stories, but I'm assured that it is better this way. It took me less than an hour (heck less than half an hour maybe?) to post 3 stories all in one go, and have to admit I'm really happy with it. Even the stories come out more organized and neater to my liking~
I don't lock my posts (they have that function there, mind you) so don't worry of not having an account. You can still view and leave comments there (as anonymous maybe, I'm not really clear about that. Do leave your name if you leave it as anonymous so I can know who you are~) which is of course, highly appreciated~
So far, there are some one-shots that available here and not there but I planned to posts it all there, along with the further installments. I don't plan on deleting the stories here though, so don't worry.
The cuts on Literally -Chapter 1 is the same here and there and I don't finish posting it up there yet. I suggests you to read at Livejournal more as it's clearer and I have some sort of format set up there, like the addition of Summary, rating, and all. But then, it's finished here already and no, I don't edit the stories there, it's still the same~ Just some format. ^^
Basically I'm rambling too much here now, perhaps...
The updates is A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 3-I [The world we knew won't come back]-, which is, of course, the next update of the damn long three-shot. If you're wondering about the Part 3-I, read the A/N there. Haha~! Kill me, I know you want to. LOL.
Also, a new one-shot I wrote while in the midst of finishing the three-shot (pardon my laziness to type out the LONG title, why do I have to make it THAT long?), The Incessant Restriction of Catharsis. I love beautiful words, and might had accidentally abuse that liking in naming this story, which comes in a spur of the moment, really. Heck, everything about that story is on-spot idea, with no planning whatsoever, to my horror! LOL.
Hope that you enjoy the stories and leave some comments! It's okay to leave it here too, like Livejournal (as there might be people who are not sure) you can comment as anonymous but leave your name so I can identify who you are~ ^^
Oh! The comment section is the Secret Shelter, named after my favorite songs, LOL.
EDIT: Labeling this as One Shot Essay due to the links provided, and I'm Soooooo Random because, well, I am random, no? LOL.
Till then, ja ne~ Going to study for mid-term later...T_T
Music of the Day: Gackt-Redemption
P/S: A J-Rock from the oh-so-awesome Gackt. Heard about him earlier than TVXQ actually but never really got around to listen to his songs and Oh. God. It's damn rock! He's voice singing live (Japanese singers don't really do lip-syncing as far as I'm concern) is darn rocking (try watch his MKMF 2007 performance, that's where I first heard him anyway, heck even Heechul got his jaw dropping if you realize)! This song reveal the power in his voice and if you love Rock at its best like me, you'll love this, hands down.
In my playlist as per usual. Do I really have to mention this anytime I wonder? LOL.
~The-quite-blur-and-blank-at-the-moment Heiji.
P/S: Must be the aftereffect of turning 20...yes, that must be it~
There's some interesting things going on that day, and thanks (again) for the people who make it a damn memorable day to remember. Guys, you're darn awesome~
Post about it? Nah, it's too long already...better keep it in memory~ ^^
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 2-
First of all, (this is late...) Happy Chinese New Year~ it's been too LONG since I last post something, no? Can't help it...the assignments are practically killing...T_T
Also, it is now a one-week break for CNY and UMS-KAL is dead. I mean it, dead. It's so quiet, and lack of people and I'm bored as hell! Luckily the writer's block demon haunting had long gone and I spent my days writing and finishing assignments and memorizing katakana...which is almost perfect in my head by now~
Either way, just like the title of this post clearly says, this is the second part of the story! I had already finished this three-shot and the only thing left is to post it...so expect more update in the near future~ ^^
Comments are love as usual~ ^^
A BUTTERFLY, A LOUVRE, AND (NOT) A FREER
Part 2
Day 1
They are the best of friends; the three of them are always together, inseparable. It is a fact that even the dumbest person on earth can figure out. He is always Black, and then there are Blue and White. Blue loves questions and always asks, curious with everything in the world, like a wide blue sky looking down, stretching to almost everything, never ending thirst for space. White loves answering Blue’s questions in the most indirect way as possible, humorous and in style, like white clouds forming in between, randomly shape and indefinite, never ending shield of warm. He loves watching the two, never taking sides, for he knows he just simply cannot choose and influence them, so he just stay at bay, remain invisible. He is Black, like dark clouds that angers with rain, engulfing the white ones, or night that coats the world with nothingness, swallow the peaceful blue away. He knows black steals and eats all the other colors effortlessly, and he knows he wants a beautiful sky, so he is content by being the third wheel, expressing his gratitude by sketching them on his canvas or playing melodious piano pieces he picks up here and there somewhere along the way.
He looks at them from behind his canvas, sketching, and the other two just lazily lay down on their backs, side by side, whispering sacred secrets that are loud enough for him to hear.
“How do you know...?”
White will just shrug it off, and gives off a knowing smile. They can tell each other’s feelings just by a mere look on the eye. The puzzled look dispersed into thin air, replaced by a bright smile. It is always like that between the two, and he thought it will never change. Not in a chance.
Day -1000
There is a sound of piano drifting in the air, slow, yet haunting, painful to the ears. He knew the song well. It was the first piece he learned in his life, and that was so long ago.
“Do you remember when this song...?”
White will just smiles a bit, and gives off the apologetic face. It is understandable. He can hardly remember it himself. There is a nod, saying it is ok, yet a bit frown formed on the face. A smack on the arm, a small hug, and the frown dispersed into thin air, replaced by a bright smile. It is always like that between the two, and he thought it will never change. Not in a chance.
Day -864
It is a happy day. It should be, for it is the start of the new term. But somehow it is raining, so hard he can see nothing but black. The sky disappears, taking Blue and White with it. Gone. Accidents, they say, hit-and-run by a runaway convict on their way to school, hands still linked together.
He did not buy any of it.
Day -857
He plays the piano piece in silence for the both of them, for the last time, on their funeral. From the corner of his eyes, he can see people crying harder than before he plays. His teacher was confused why he learned such a sad song at the beginning of the piano lesson, long time ago. He never recalls the reason he gave her, but he do remember her telling him the title of it.
“It’s called ‘Requiem for the Sky’.”
He can never agree more.
Day -850
He closes the piano lid, leaves with it his bag that is full with canvas, sketches of them, and walks off. He wants to leave it all there, his memories, his past, his life with them. And leave it he did. He never looks nor turns back, even as he closes the door of the room. The sound of the door shut echoes along the hallway before it slowly fades away, and become silence once again, like the sound never even existed at the first place. He walks away feeling nothing but numb. Surprisingly, even to him, there is no single tear coming out.
Once he gets home, he locks himself up in his room, and gathers up his belongings into one small backpack, not like he has many things to own to begin with, and walks out slowly when the clock strike past midnight long ago, assuring that everybody is already asleep, not even bother to say goodbye. He is an outcast even among his family, and he never really gets along with his many brothers and sisters, for they often have this kind of disgust in their eyes when they looked at him, though he does not know any reason why. He knew he is an adopted son, he accidentally eavesdropped his parents conversation some time ago, and he take it that his family never really want him at the very first place, like he does not really belong there. He never confronted them about it, and he doubt it if they ever knew that he knew the truth. Still, to him it does not really matter. He already told his mother that he will move out one day, and already took up part-time jobs to support himself. Although he never told her when, she did not really opposed the idea, so he take it as an okay. He leaves a letter along with some money from his salary that he specifically saved to give them, indicating that he is leaving and thanks them profusely for taking care of him. He knows that he is not a really good son and even though he knows that they do not really love him like other parents and family would, he is still well-cared and not bullied like some other Cinderella story, and he is thankful enough for that.
He reaches the front gate when he feels like somebody is staring at him, quick on reflexes he is, he turns around, facing the house, and looks at the windows. He swears there is some kind of a silhouette at the left window upstairs, hiding behind the curtains, not wanting to be seen. He does not really want to know who it is, not like he really cares, so he simply walks out and closes the gate as quiet as he could. The shadow is still there, peeping through the opening of the curtains. He looks up to the house again, walking a few steps backwards, and he does not know whether he will miss this place. He does not really feel melancholy or sad, and he is always dubbed as a robot, due to his lack of expressing emotion to others. He keeps things to himself, and do not open up to people easily. Being secretive makes him feel safe somehow, and he likes himself the way he is, regardless of negative opinions he receives from others because of that cold personality of his.
He takes a deep breath, clutching his backpack tight, and bows to the house, as an express of gratitude for everything. He knows the person at the window will see, and he does not mind at all. He knows that it is rather unlikely for him to return back here, and he also knows that he might not come back at all. To him, this is farewell, for good. He straightens himself up, turns around, and starts walking away. He can feel the stare at his back, but he does not turn around this time. He just focuses to the street in front him, to the places he might be, the possibilities of everything in his new profound life. He does not want to remember anything from before, and he is confident enough that he will be fine, no matter what will happen after this. Thus, he keeps on moving, ignoring any sound that can be heard from behind him. He thinks that he can hear some sort of whisper calling him, and considering the fact that there is no one around, he figures it must be him. Still, he ignores them altogether, and forbidden himself from stop and look back, for he fears he might not be able to move forward again. So he closes his heart, his ears, his mind, and walks off, never looking back.
He never did.
Day -753
He listens to the class president’s explanation on the school while looking around; making a mental note on the hallway so that he will not find himself lost later. He somehow have a feeling he will like it here, his previous school did not held much memory for him to remember, or rather, did not left much significant meaning to him. It is just his first day here yet he feels quite content with the surroundings. He must say this school is beautiful, the landscape and all is organized in a unique way. Upon reaching the staff’s room, the class president excuses himself to go back to class, now that his job to show him around is done. He nods in acknowledgement and watch the retreating back of the boy. The class president is indeed a responsible person. He can tell by the way the boy walks; he gives off some kind of authority aura with every step he takes, and he makes it a point to remember the boy’s name for future reference, just in case something happens.
He enters the staff’s room and finds his homeroom teacher talking to another teacher at the corner of the room. He walks slowly towards both teachers and he gets himself a smile of acknowledgement from both men as they saw him approaching. He smiles back, politely. His homeroom teacher starts filling him with the school rules, activities, and so much more until the other teacher who had been there the whole time interrupts upon reaching the co-curriculum subjects.
“Say, I’m quite sure the other clubs are full already, but there are still vacancies for these two clubs, I daresay. One is the Arts Club, which I am the advisor, and the other being the Music Club, I heard they are short of people on piano class. You can choose one, it is not necessary for you to actually know how to draw or play the piano, really. They can teach you from the very simple basic, though I have the feeling that you might just not need it.”
The Arts teacher smiles knowingly, his eyes never leaving his.
“Somehow, I can almost see it in you.”
Day -832
“You have a hand of an artistic person.”
He raises a brow on that remark, the old woman beside him still have her gaze fixed on his hands on his lap, before she take his left hand in hers, admiring his long slender fingers against her rough and wrinkled one. Each line tells a story, he thinks, as he traces them with his eyes, absorbing the little warmth from the stranger he wishes he knows better. They are at the railway station; he waits for the next train to board and leave while she waits for the next train to bring a person back home. She does not say specifically the relation and he does not think it have anything to do with him either so he does not ask.
“I believe you played an instrument, or good in painting, am I right?”
He almost chokes on air and looks up as she smiles at him, her eyes tells him that she knows, and the firm squeeze on the hand assures him that it is useless to try lying. He exhales, thinking of an answer when an announcement fills the air; the train they are waiting is here. Spontaneously, both of them stands up, hands still clasped together. He picks up his backpack and slung it to his right shoulder, still thinking of the right words to say, but disappointedly finds none. He blames it on his poor brain; he is no good with words anyway. Looking into her eyes though, reminds him of them whenever they heard his piano, or steal glances on his canvas, and it hurts, so much, he ends up telling her without thinking.
“I did piano, and draw occasionally, but I’m dropping them now."
People starts to flood around them and she lets go of his hand, not before giving him a hug, and whispers in his ears.
“Don’t do things half-heartedly, or you’ll regret it.”
He shook his head.
“I won’t. I’ll let go, both of them.”
Day -753
He stays still. It is necessary for a student to participate in extracurricular activities and be a member of one club, meaning he has to choose between the two things he wants to avoid most, for he does not want to remember. He can feel himself torn for him rather not draw and play the piano anymore than to choose just one.
“You don’t have to choose now, you see. I think it is best if you choose the one that will make you enjoy your time and be happy.”
The Arts teacher smiles again and he nods, the teacher is right. He closes his eyes and exhales deep, confirming his decision.
Day -832
“Why don’t you choose one? It’ll be hard to let go of both things at the same time.”
He remains silent. It is hard, he knows it.
“Choose one. It’ll be a pity if you don’t. You’re too young to give things up.”
The look on her face gives off an indescribable feeling and he somehow has the urge to capture it on his drawing, much to his own amusement. And maybe, just maybe, he thinks, he can still draw.
“Maybe, I’ll draw, only if I have to choose.”
Her smile is calming and bright it almost blinds him.
“That’s good. Don’t give up too much, like me. I have nothing now, nothing to call mine, no one to come back.”
The siren fills up the air, and he feels heavy in the heart. Tears are threatening to come out from her eyes, and he realizes, no matter how much she waits, it will be all in vain.
“They are not going to come back, once you let go.”
It is only until her goodbye wave is no longer visible to him that he realizes that he has been holding back his breath, and tears.
Day -753
“I’ll join the Arts Club, teacher. Besides, I really like this school’s landscape and garden, I think I can sketch many things here. I’m...not really interested in piano anyway.”
Both teacher smiles now and he knows he does the right thing. He even shocks himself to be able to come up with a decision this quick. The Arts teacher quickly briefs him on the club’s information and he finds himself eager to start sketching. He consciously reminding himself that he will have more fun now as he walks back to the class, and upon passing by the Music Club room, he deliberately closes himself up, his ears, his mind, and his heart, something he gradually becomes good at since the night he left his home, so that he will not hear the sound of piano playing or even see the sight of a piano in the slightly opened door of the room. He figures out that he is getting better in controlling himself and he cannot help but thinking that maybe, just maybe, he is a robot now rather than a human.
He sits down on the bench, opens the lid, and plays piece after piece, until his fingers goes numb, his mind goes blank, and hears nothing but the sound of his heart breaking. He keeps on asking himself, why, why did I fall in love with you? With Blue, with White, with piano, with canvas, sketches, sky. He wants answers to why it has to happen. He always thought, no matter how much time passed, they will always be here. But somehow, they have to choose a different road, and he is left with nothing to call his own.
He never feels confident with himself, and he has close to zero friends save for the two people that is always stuck to him like glue. He takes up piano seriously and take lessons because both Blue and White loves it when he hums make up melodies in his head, going as far as persuading him to think that he have talent in it, which proves to be true, but he never plays for anybody but them. Along the way he starts sketching because that is the only thing he can do better than White who sucks in Arts, and Blue just love the flustered face of others, especially White upon seeing his sketches displayed by the teacher. Now that his sky is no longer clear and will never be the same again, he lost the very reason to smile. He realizes that he depends on the two a bit too much, yet he just cannot help it. Not when there is no else in the world that truly cares about him.
A string of melody escapes his lips just when he is about to stop playing, his fingers hanging mid-air. There is a weird sensation about the sound but he cannot quite put a finger on it. Just like that, the words begin to overflow, so as his tears, as the rhythm fills him up. Mumbles of apologies, what-ifs-and-why-not, all makes its way out of him. When he lost count of what to say, he plays the melody, feeling himself lifted, filled with emotions, and stops with the last drop of tears hitting the key.
The silence hits him back to reality, and for the first time in his life, he feels satisfied, numb. He throws everything out of him, his tears, his regrets, his melodies; he is left with nothing now. Smiling a bit to no one but him, he stands up; closing the lid, thinking this is it, the end. He plays too much now and he thinks that maybe, no, sure now he can stops playing, like a person doing one thing a bit too much he gets bored and leaves it altogether.
He can forget everything, now. He is letting it go.
Day -753
The moment he picks up his tools later that day; the canvas, pencils, erasers, and all, he feels new again. He starts sketching the fountain at the center of the school’s landscape and much to his own amusement; he does a great job with it. He literally forgotten the piano, and anything, everything associates with it.
Day 54
There he is, as always, at his spot at the corner of the rooftop, sketching. He has his eyes closed, and the sight makes her confident that he is the one. There is no mistaking it, this guy never really changed after all, just like how she remembered him years ago. She walks slowly, does not want to disturb him.
She hears him humming the tune, and she stops abruptly, stepping on the floor a bit too hard in the process, and shock the hell out of him. His eyes widen in surprise for seeing her there and that is when she realizes that she does not know what to do. She wants to talk to him but she knows he would not open up to her easily just because she knew. They were never close or something at the first place, and she does not want to scare him away. So she does the next best thing, she smiles.
“The tune...is it from a song? It’s...beautiful.”
He eyes her upon hearing that and she mentally kicked herself for asking. She does not sure whether he remembered her or not and apparently he looks troubled by the question, as he darted his eyes back to the canvas, which makes her feeling worse than before. He puts the canvas down beside him and sits down, motioning to her to do the same. As he leans back against the wall, he turns to her, asking.
“Would you mind listen to this?”
She nods and he talks. About the white presence, the tune, the angelic smile, everything. When he finishes it all, she finds herself numb. It might be her luck, for she manages to figure out everything, now that she put two and two together, but still, it hurts.
She smiles and thanks him for telling her the out-of-the-body experience, before runs off towards the door. She might hurt him by doing so, but she cannot help herself, for she does not want him to see her crying. He does not remember her, not that it is important. The problem is he does not remember anything anymore. As if the he that she knew does not even existed, and it hurts her badly. He does not know the tune, does not remember playing it, does not remember creating it, and does not remember that he is the one writing the magical tune before the disaster happen.
She realizes now, that he never even touches a piano, let alone play again ever since.
EDIT: I hate blogspot. It took me damn LONG to edit almost EVERYTHING that I copied from Word (which makes up almost 90% of this post I daresay). At least Livejournal is a tad easier to use and less edit-needed.
I might post my stories on Livejournal ONLY (in huge consideration now) and post the links to it here. Still, it's just a plan of mine. Bear in mind that the possibility is as high as 85% now though.
Music of the Day: 4men- Baby Baby
P/S: This song is damn AWESOME. If you're in for R&B acapella style of song, this is perfect for you! The vocal is extremely good and soothing and it's sad to see that this group is so underrated...they need more exposure! Either way, try listen to this one in my playlist as per usual and judge them yourself! I have a perfect solid 10 for this~ ^^
Oh! This song is Korean btw~
~The Bored Heiji
EDIT: ~The Damn-Frustrated Heiji
Also, it is now a one-week break for CNY and UMS-KAL is dead. I mean it, dead. It's so quiet, and lack of people and I'm bored as hell! Luckily the writer's block demon haunting had long gone and I spent my days writing and finishing assignments and memorizing katakana...which is almost perfect in my head by now~
Either way, just like the title of this post clearly says, this is the second part of the story! I had already finished this three-shot and the only thing left is to post it...so expect more update in the near future~ ^^
Comments are love as usual~ ^^
A BUTTERFLY, A LOUVRE, AND (NOT) A FREER
Part 2
Halo- The calling of yesterday’s memory
From a locked louvre of the heart
From a locked louvre of the heart
We can’t go back that time
Or how we were
Day 1
They are the best of friends; the three of them are always together, inseparable. It is a fact that even the dumbest person on earth can figure out. He is always Black, and then there are Blue and White. Blue loves questions and always asks, curious with everything in the world, like a wide blue sky looking down, stretching to almost everything, never ending thirst for space. White loves answering Blue’s questions in the most indirect way as possible, humorous and in style, like white clouds forming in between, randomly shape and indefinite, never ending shield of warm. He loves watching the two, never taking sides, for he knows he just simply cannot choose and influence them, so he just stay at bay, remain invisible. He is Black, like dark clouds that angers with rain, engulfing the white ones, or night that coats the world with nothingness, swallow the peaceful blue away. He knows black steals and eats all the other colors effortlessly, and he knows he wants a beautiful sky, so he is content by being the third wheel, expressing his gratitude by sketching them on his canvas or playing melodious piano pieces he picks up here and there somewhere along the way.
He looks at them from behind his canvas, sketching, and the other two just lazily lay down on their backs, side by side, whispering sacred secrets that are loud enough for him to hear.
“How do you know...?”
White will just shrug it off, and gives off a knowing smile. They can tell each other’s feelings just by a mere look on the eye. The puzzled look dispersed into thin air, replaced by a bright smile. It is always like that between the two, and he thought it will never change. Not in a chance.
Day -1000
There is a sound of piano drifting in the air, slow, yet haunting, painful to the ears. He knew the song well. It was the first piece he learned in his life, and that was so long ago.
“Do you remember when this song...?”
White will just smiles a bit, and gives off the apologetic face. It is understandable. He can hardly remember it himself. There is a nod, saying it is ok, yet a bit frown formed on the face. A smack on the arm, a small hug, and the frown dispersed into thin air, replaced by a bright smile. It is always like that between the two, and he thought it will never change. Not in a chance.
Day -864
It is a happy day. It should be, for it is the start of the new term. But somehow it is raining, so hard he can see nothing but black. The sky disappears, taking Blue and White with it. Gone. Accidents, they say, hit-and-run by a runaway convict on their way to school, hands still linked together.
He did not buy any of it.
Day -857
He plays the piano piece in silence for the both of them, for the last time, on their funeral. From the corner of his eyes, he can see people crying harder than before he plays. His teacher was confused why he learned such a sad song at the beginning of the piano lesson, long time ago. He never recalls the reason he gave her, but he do remember her telling him the title of it.
“It’s called ‘Requiem for the Sky’.”
He can never agree more.
Day -850
He closes the piano lid, leaves with it his bag that is full with canvas, sketches of them, and walks off. He wants to leave it all there, his memories, his past, his life with them. And leave it he did. He never looks nor turns back, even as he closes the door of the room. The sound of the door shut echoes along the hallway before it slowly fades away, and become silence once again, like the sound never even existed at the first place. He walks away feeling nothing but numb. Surprisingly, even to him, there is no single tear coming out.
Once he gets home, he locks himself up in his room, and gathers up his belongings into one small backpack, not like he has many things to own to begin with, and walks out slowly when the clock strike past midnight long ago, assuring that everybody is already asleep, not even bother to say goodbye. He is an outcast even among his family, and he never really gets along with his many brothers and sisters, for they often have this kind of disgust in their eyes when they looked at him, though he does not know any reason why. He knew he is an adopted son, he accidentally eavesdropped his parents conversation some time ago, and he take it that his family never really want him at the very first place, like he does not really belong there. He never confronted them about it, and he doubt it if they ever knew that he knew the truth. Still, to him it does not really matter. He already told his mother that he will move out one day, and already took up part-time jobs to support himself. Although he never told her when, she did not really opposed the idea, so he take it as an okay. He leaves a letter along with some money from his salary that he specifically saved to give them, indicating that he is leaving and thanks them profusely for taking care of him. He knows that he is not a really good son and even though he knows that they do not really love him like other parents and family would, he is still well-cared and not bullied like some other Cinderella story, and he is thankful enough for that.
He reaches the front gate when he feels like somebody is staring at him, quick on reflexes he is, he turns around, facing the house, and looks at the windows. He swears there is some kind of a silhouette at the left window upstairs, hiding behind the curtains, not wanting to be seen. He does not really want to know who it is, not like he really cares, so he simply walks out and closes the gate as quiet as he could. The shadow is still there, peeping through the opening of the curtains. He looks up to the house again, walking a few steps backwards, and he does not know whether he will miss this place. He does not really feel melancholy or sad, and he is always dubbed as a robot, due to his lack of expressing emotion to others. He keeps things to himself, and do not open up to people easily. Being secretive makes him feel safe somehow, and he likes himself the way he is, regardless of negative opinions he receives from others because of that cold personality of his.
He takes a deep breath, clutching his backpack tight, and bows to the house, as an express of gratitude for everything. He knows the person at the window will see, and he does not mind at all. He knows that it is rather unlikely for him to return back here, and he also knows that he might not come back at all. To him, this is farewell, for good. He straightens himself up, turns around, and starts walking away. He can feel the stare at his back, but he does not turn around this time. He just focuses to the street in front him, to the places he might be, the possibilities of everything in his new profound life. He does not want to remember anything from before, and he is confident enough that he will be fine, no matter what will happen after this. Thus, he keeps on moving, ignoring any sound that can be heard from behind him. He thinks that he can hear some sort of whisper calling him, and considering the fact that there is no one around, he figures it must be him. Still, he ignores them altogether, and forbidden himself from stop and look back, for he fears he might not be able to move forward again. So he closes his heart, his ears, his mind, and walks off, never looking back.
He never did.
Day -753
He listens to the class president’s explanation on the school while looking around; making a mental note on the hallway so that he will not find himself lost later. He somehow have a feeling he will like it here, his previous school did not held much memory for him to remember, or rather, did not left much significant meaning to him. It is just his first day here yet he feels quite content with the surroundings. He must say this school is beautiful, the landscape and all is organized in a unique way. Upon reaching the staff’s room, the class president excuses himself to go back to class, now that his job to show him around is done. He nods in acknowledgement and watch the retreating back of the boy. The class president is indeed a responsible person. He can tell by the way the boy walks; he gives off some kind of authority aura with every step he takes, and he makes it a point to remember the boy’s name for future reference, just in case something happens.
He enters the staff’s room and finds his homeroom teacher talking to another teacher at the corner of the room. He walks slowly towards both teachers and he gets himself a smile of acknowledgement from both men as they saw him approaching. He smiles back, politely. His homeroom teacher starts filling him with the school rules, activities, and so much more until the other teacher who had been there the whole time interrupts upon reaching the co-curriculum subjects.
“Say, I’m quite sure the other clubs are full already, but there are still vacancies for these two clubs, I daresay. One is the Arts Club, which I am the advisor, and the other being the Music Club, I heard they are short of people on piano class. You can choose one, it is not necessary for you to actually know how to draw or play the piano, really. They can teach you from the very simple basic, though I have the feeling that you might just not need it.”
The Arts teacher smiles knowingly, his eyes never leaving his.
“Somehow, I can almost see it in you.”
Day -832
“You have a hand of an artistic person.”
He raises a brow on that remark, the old woman beside him still have her gaze fixed on his hands on his lap, before she take his left hand in hers, admiring his long slender fingers against her rough and wrinkled one. Each line tells a story, he thinks, as he traces them with his eyes, absorbing the little warmth from the stranger he wishes he knows better. They are at the railway station; he waits for the next train to board and leave while she waits for the next train to bring a person back home. She does not say specifically the relation and he does not think it have anything to do with him either so he does not ask.
“I believe you played an instrument, or good in painting, am I right?”
He almost chokes on air and looks up as she smiles at him, her eyes tells him that she knows, and the firm squeeze on the hand assures him that it is useless to try lying. He exhales, thinking of an answer when an announcement fills the air; the train they are waiting is here. Spontaneously, both of them stands up, hands still clasped together. He picks up his backpack and slung it to his right shoulder, still thinking of the right words to say, but disappointedly finds none. He blames it on his poor brain; he is no good with words anyway. Looking into her eyes though, reminds him of them whenever they heard his piano, or steal glances on his canvas, and it hurts, so much, he ends up telling her without thinking.
“I did piano, and draw occasionally, but I’m dropping them now."
People starts to flood around them and she lets go of his hand, not before giving him a hug, and whispers in his ears.
“Don’t do things half-heartedly, or you’ll regret it.”
He shook his head.
“I won’t. I’ll let go, both of them.”
Day -753
He stays still. It is necessary for a student to participate in extracurricular activities and be a member of one club, meaning he has to choose between the two things he wants to avoid most, for he does not want to remember. He can feel himself torn for him rather not draw and play the piano anymore than to choose just one.
“You don’t have to choose now, you see. I think it is best if you choose the one that will make you enjoy your time and be happy.”
The Arts teacher smiles again and he nods, the teacher is right. He closes his eyes and exhales deep, confirming his decision.
Day -832
“Why don’t you choose one? It’ll be hard to let go of both things at the same time.”
He remains silent. It is hard, he knows it.
“Choose one. It’ll be a pity if you don’t. You’re too young to give things up.”
The look on her face gives off an indescribable feeling and he somehow has the urge to capture it on his drawing, much to his own amusement. And maybe, just maybe, he thinks, he can still draw.
“Maybe, I’ll draw, only if I have to choose.”
Her smile is calming and bright it almost blinds him.
“That’s good. Don’t give up too much, like me. I have nothing now, nothing to call mine, no one to come back.”
The siren fills up the air, and he feels heavy in the heart. Tears are threatening to come out from her eyes, and he realizes, no matter how much she waits, it will be all in vain.
“They are not going to come back, once you let go.”
It is only until her goodbye wave is no longer visible to him that he realizes that he has been holding back his breath, and tears.
Day -753
“I’ll join the Arts Club, teacher. Besides, I really like this school’s landscape and garden, I think I can sketch many things here. I’m...not really interested in piano anyway.”
Both teacher smiles now and he knows he does the right thing. He even shocks himself to be able to come up with a decision this quick. The Arts teacher quickly briefs him on the club’s information and he finds himself eager to start sketching. He consciously reminding himself that he will have more fun now as he walks back to the class, and upon passing by the Music Club room, he deliberately closes himself up, his ears, his mind, and his heart, something he gradually becomes good at since the night he left his home, so that he will not hear the sound of piano playing or even see the sight of a piano in the slightly opened door of the room. He figures out that he is getting better in controlling himself and he cannot help but thinking that maybe, just maybe, he is a robot now rather than a human.
He sits down on the bench, opens the lid, and plays piece after piece, until his fingers goes numb, his mind goes blank, and hears nothing but the sound of his heart breaking. He keeps on asking himself, why, why did I fall in love with you? With Blue, with White, with piano, with canvas, sketches, sky. He wants answers to why it has to happen. He always thought, no matter how much time passed, they will always be here. But somehow, they have to choose a different road, and he is left with nothing to call his own.
He never feels confident with himself, and he has close to zero friends save for the two people that is always stuck to him like glue. He takes up piano seriously and take lessons because both Blue and White loves it when he hums make up melodies in his head, going as far as persuading him to think that he have talent in it, which proves to be true, but he never plays for anybody but them. Along the way he starts sketching because that is the only thing he can do better than White who sucks in Arts, and Blue just love the flustered face of others, especially White upon seeing his sketches displayed by the teacher. Now that his sky is no longer clear and will never be the same again, he lost the very reason to smile. He realizes that he depends on the two a bit too much, yet he just cannot help it. Not when there is no else in the world that truly cares about him.
A string of melody escapes his lips just when he is about to stop playing, his fingers hanging mid-air. There is a weird sensation about the sound but he cannot quite put a finger on it. Just like that, the words begin to overflow, so as his tears, as the rhythm fills him up. Mumbles of apologies, what-ifs-and-why-not, all makes its way out of him. When he lost count of what to say, he plays the melody, feeling himself lifted, filled with emotions, and stops with the last drop of tears hitting the key.
The silence hits him back to reality, and for the first time in his life, he feels satisfied, numb. He throws everything out of him, his tears, his regrets, his melodies; he is left with nothing now. Smiling a bit to no one but him, he stands up; closing the lid, thinking this is it, the end. He plays too much now and he thinks that maybe, no, sure now he can stops playing, like a person doing one thing a bit too much he gets bored and leaves it altogether.
He can forget everything, now. He is letting it go.
Day -753
The moment he picks up his tools later that day; the canvas, pencils, erasers, and all, he feels new again. He starts sketching the fountain at the center of the school’s landscape and much to his own amusement; he does a great job with it. He literally forgotten the piano, and anything, everything associates with it.
Day 54
There he is, as always, at his spot at the corner of the rooftop, sketching. He has his eyes closed, and the sight makes her confident that he is the one. There is no mistaking it, this guy never really changed after all, just like how she remembered him years ago. She walks slowly, does not want to disturb him.
She hears him humming the tune, and she stops abruptly, stepping on the floor a bit too hard in the process, and shock the hell out of him. His eyes widen in surprise for seeing her there and that is when she realizes that she does not know what to do. She wants to talk to him but she knows he would not open up to her easily just because she knew. They were never close or something at the first place, and she does not want to scare him away. So she does the next best thing, she smiles.
“The tune...is it from a song? It’s...beautiful.”
He eyes her upon hearing that and she mentally kicked herself for asking. She does not sure whether he remembered her or not and apparently he looks troubled by the question, as he darted his eyes back to the canvas, which makes her feeling worse than before. He puts the canvas down beside him and sits down, motioning to her to do the same. As he leans back against the wall, he turns to her, asking.
“Would you mind listen to this?”
She nods and he talks. About the white presence, the tune, the angelic smile, everything. When he finishes it all, she finds herself numb. It might be her luck, for she manages to figure out everything, now that she put two and two together, but still, it hurts.
She smiles and thanks him for telling her the out-of-the-body experience, before runs off towards the door. She might hurt him by doing so, but she cannot help herself, for she does not want him to see her crying. He does not remember her, not that it is important. The problem is he does not remember anything anymore. As if the he that she knew does not even existed, and it hurts her badly. He does not know the tune, does not remember playing it, does not remember creating it, and does not remember that he is the one writing the magical tune before the disaster happen.
She realizes now, that he never even touches a piano, let alone play again ever since.
EDIT: I hate blogspot. It took me damn LONG to edit almost EVERYTHING that I copied from Word (which makes up almost 90% of this post I daresay). At least Livejournal is a tad easier to use and less edit-needed.
I might post my stories on Livejournal ONLY (in huge consideration now) and post the links to it here. Still, it's just a plan of mine. Bear in mind that the possibility is as high as 85% now though.
Music of the Day: 4men- Baby Baby
P/S: This song is damn AWESOME. If you're in for R&B acapella style of song, this is perfect for you! The vocal is extremely good and soothing and it's sad to see that this group is so underrated...they need more exposure! Either way, try listen to this one in my playlist as per usual and judge them yourself! I have a perfect solid 10 for this~ ^^
Oh! This song is Korean btw~
~The Bored Heiji
EDIT: ~The Damn-Frustrated Heiji
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Technopreneurship and the Never-Ending Discussion...
Before I even start rambling about, I am currently a First Year student in Universiti Malaysia Sabah, Labuan International Campus (or UMS-KAL for short) aiming for a degree or Bachelor of Information Technology in E-commerce. Basically, my course deals with online trading, business topics, and also computer programming, which is why I'm a constant user of computer, or rather, a geek. I'm now in the second semester of my three year program, which also equals to the total of six semester overall.
Back to the topic, I had a discussion for my Technopreneurship subject last night. This subject is quite a critical one, for this might just be the platform for life after the degree. For the subject the students are required to form groups of 5 and come up with a business project. The groups are to act like they are a company, along with the members hold a position whether it is CEO (the boss), CMO (marketing), CFO (financial), CIO (information gathering), and CTO (technology -which most likely become my position, I'm a geek, remember?).
So, this project is no doubt the biggest assignments we ever had, because, if we're lucky enough, we might get the chance to represent the university and present our project to the companies out there and gets hired after obtaining the degree. In the competitive world nowadays, chances like this is like one in a million. This means, the chances to success depends largely to the group performance, and that causes a chaos in order to get the best member for the team. Mark the word there, chaos. The leader of our group, which is also a good friend of mine, summarize the situation perfectly at his blog here.
The discussion last night was a depressing one. Our group was facing risks of losing two members to other group which apparently, had their eyes on the said members from the very beginning, and dispute ensues. The tug-and-war situation between the two groups, to be frank, is nerve wrecking. In the end, we lose the two members, as they already promised to stay in the other group at the first place and felt bad for leaving them just like that to join us, and that makes us left with only three, me, the CEO, and another guy. The CEO is going crazy, for there are no other people left available, and the guy is depressed for the two members are his friends. I, on the other hand, tried to sent messages around to ask for any people who was available. My phone vibrates again minutes later and a message came, from a friend, much to my relief. Surprisingly, we found a new member and the heavy air around up dispersed away. The meeting ended with a quite happy tone for the group as there is one less burden for us now.
I'll have another discussion tonight and God knows how it will turn out this time. As much as I'm concerned, our group (or rather, company?) is still short of a member. We asked a senpai about this and she told us that it's ok even if it's just 4 in a group. Still, it'll be better to have five in a group, right? <---took this quote from somebody famous, cookies for those who can guess who~ LOL. I'll have a hard time to post the Japanese greeting for now but rest assure that I will do so but maybe not in the future. The classes are starting to get hectic and the lecturer this semester just loves test so much he conduct it every week (glance at Fuji-sensei the Japanese lecturer)! Haii~ do give me your support, minna-san~
There's talk about the one-week break for Chinese New Year. My friends had been teasing me saying I'll go back now that home is nearer than before (just a 40-minute flight!) but for now, I can confidently say that I don't have the plan to do so. I can bet there's loads of work to be done at that time (again, glance at Fuji-sensei). Besides, my friends are all staying too so it's not like I'll be alone, right? Still, that's just planning. We don't know what'll happen in the future, right?
The discussion will start at 8 and I hope this time it'll go smoothly. People tend to have a bad day these days so it'll be great if we can finally pass the storm now. ^^
Till then, minna-san, ganbatte kudasai! Hwaiting~ LOL.
Music of the Day: Utada Hikaru -Apple and Cinnamon
P/S: The piano and beat compliments each other creating an awesome fully English song by Utada. Her pronunciation is good too and you don't really have to look at the lyric to understand her. As always, on my playlist below~
Wondering why this post seems quite monotone? Somehow, I have no idea why either.
~Indifferent Heiji.
"Whatever, I don't know, I don't care, and I don't give a damn anymore."
The note lies innocently on the table.
"Just let me disappear."
The pale moonlight from the window shines on it, the rest of the room engulfs in darkness.
"Even when I know there is no such thing like [running] forever."
Back to the topic, I had a discussion for my Technopreneurship subject last night. This subject is quite a critical one, for this might just be the platform for life after the degree. For the subject the students are required to form groups of 5 and come up with a business project. The groups are to act like they are a company, along with the members hold a position whether it is CEO (the boss), CMO (marketing), CFO (financial), CIO (information gathering), and CTO (technology -which most likely become my position, I'm a geek, remember?).
So, this project is no doubt the biggest assignments we ever had, because, if we're lucky enough, we might get the chance to represent the university and present our project to the companies out there and gets hired after obtaining the degree. In the competitive world nowadays, chances like this is like one in a million. This means, the chances to success depends largely to the group performance, and that causes a chaos in order to get the best member for the team. Mark the word there, chaos. The leader of our group, which is also a good friend of mine, summarize the situation perfectly at his blog here.
The discussion last night was a depressing one. Our group was facing risks of losing two members to other group which apparently, had their eyes on the said members from the very beginning, and dispute ensues. The tug-and-war situation between the two groups, to be frank, is nerve wrecking. In the end, we lose the two members, as they already promised to stay in the other group at the first place and felt bad for leaving them just like that to join us, and that makes us left with only three, me, the CEO, and another guy. The CEO is going crazy, for there are no other people left available, and the guy is depressed for the two members are his friends. I, on the other hand, tried to sent messages around to ask for any people who was available. My phone vibrates again minutes later and a message came, from a friend, much to my relief. Surprisingly, we found a new member and the heavy air around up dispersed away. The meeting ended with a quite happy tone for the group as there is one less burden for us now.
I'll have another discussion tonight and God knows how it will turn out this time. As much as I'm concerned, our group (or rather, company?) is still short of a member. We asked a senpai about this and she told us that it's ok even if it's just 4 in a group. Still, it'll be better to have five in a group, right? <---took this quote from somebody famous, cookies for those who can guess who~ LOL. I'll have a hard time to post the Japanese greeting for now but rest assure that I will do so but maybe not in the future. The classes are starting to get hectic and the lecturer this semester just loves test so much he conduct it every week (glance at Fuji-sensei the Japanese lecturer)! Haii~ do give me your support, minna-san~
There's talk about the one-week break for Chinese New Year. My friends had been teasing me saying I'll go back now that home is nearer than before (just a 40-minute flight!) but for now, I can confidently say that I don't have the plan to do so. I can bet there's loads of work to be done at that time (again, glance at Fuji-sensei). Besides, my friends are all staying too so it's not like I'll be alone, right? Still, that's just planning. We don't know what'll happen in the future, right?
The discussion will start at 8 and I hope this time it'll go smoothly. People tend to have a bad day these days so it'll be great if we can finally pass the storm now. ^^
Till then, minna-san, ganbatte kudasai! Hwaiting~ LOL.
Music of the Day: Utada Hikaru -Apple and Cinnamon
P/S: The piano and beat compliments each other creating an awesome fully English song by Utada. Her pronunciation is good too and you don't really have to look at the lyric to understand her. As always, on my playlist below~
Wondering why this post seems quite monotone? Somehow, I have no idea why either.
~Indifferent Heiji.
"Whatever, I don't know, I don't care, and I don't give a damn anymore."
The note lies innocently on the table.
"Just let me disappear."
The pale moonlight from the window shines on it, the rest of the room engulfs in darkness.
"Even when I know there is no such thing like [running] forever."
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu~
Ah~ It's been too long since the last post, no? And it's already 2010! This is damn late I know but everyone, HAPPY NEW YEAR~ or in Japanese, AKEMASHITE OMEDETOU GOZAIMASU~ hence the title up there...
The moving goes smoothly and the new home is nice too. Miri is hot though...the first few days really remind of Labuan...but at least they got some rain sometimes...while Labuan is rain-deprived..so yeah~
Also! Yesterday is my mother's birthday so just want to say it out loud here (I already wished her yesterday ok!) Okaasan, Otanjoubi Omedetou Gozaimasu~~!! ^^
I went back to KAL on the last 27th Dec as the Japanese class starts on 28th. I have to say I'm quite nervous for the first class and thankfully everything goes on smoothly...even the second class yesterday (the class is once a week every Monday evening 7-10PM) is -quite- smooth compare to the last week. We'd learn greetings for the beginning and starts to know the Hiragana letters. By now I've remembered all the 71 letters and I even managed to write down the super long title of TVXQ's song, Doushite kimi wo Suki ni natte Shimattandarou! I have to say I'm quite impressed with myself...LOL. There's still more to come and everything's going to get tougher so have to prepare myself!
Japanese used 4 type of character in their writing:
1) Hiragana (the one I'm currently learning -which is used for every word in the language, kind of the noun and all)
2) Katakana (going to learn this after the mid-sem exam...and going to have trouble with it maybe...people tend to mix the letters with Hiragana...I know I will, duh. -use for writing names and foreign words for ex: engineer)
3) Kanji (as in the Chinese character, is used to simplify things as one character of Kanji can represent two or sometimes three hiragana letters, as far as I'm concern...not really sure about this as we're not going to learn it...people who knows the character may find it an advantage but also can find it confusing...for there are certain letters that sounds and means different in Japanese...either way, I'm not going to bother it for now...heh!)
4) Roman letters (as in the normal ABC of course).
This is the Hiragana chart I've been busying myself with.
I'll be posting the list of greetings and all after this. Hope that I can keep on with the class, and hope that this will help you guys, like how it helped me! ^^ If I happened to got any facts wrong somehow feel free to tell! I'll be appreciating it much~
Just a quick note, I'm halfway done with the final part of the three-shot A Beautiful, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer. Going to post the second part as soon as I finishes it...if there's no need for correction with my next Japanese homework...the corrections are always so many~
Chapter 2 is on a long~ hiatus...sorry (T_T) There's nothing much I can do about that one...(-_-)" How's Chapter 1 though? Is it good? Do tell what you think and perhaps some idea? It's great to hear opinions~ ^^
Till then, happy learning~!
Music of the Day: Lee Seung Gi -Let's Break Up
P/S: I've fallen in love with his voice, hard. It helps that he's a nice guy (and kind of cute) too. Going to put up more of his songs later. And do check out the MV too...it's cool to me (especially the final tunnel part, that's my fav) and the camera work is awesome. I've downloaded almost all of his albums and MVs...I wonder why he's always got beaten up in it (the MVs)...Oh, did I mention that he's a ballad singer?
..........................................................
I've been listening to too much ballad lately...must be the fact I'll be turning 20 soon...20...ARGHH~ (-_-)"
~Don't-Want-to-Grow-Up-Just-Yet Heiji.
The moving goes smoothly and the new home is nice too. Miri is hot though...the first few days really remind of Labuan...but at least they got some rain sometimes...while Labuan is rain-deprived..so yeah~
Also! Yesterday is my mother's birthday so just want to say it out loud here (I already wished her yesterday ok!) Okaasan, Otanjoubi Omedetou Gozaimasu~~!! ^^
I went back to KAL on the last 27th Dec as the Japanese class starts on 28th. I have to say I'm quite nervous for the first class and thankfully everything goes on smoothly...even the second class yesterday (the class is once a week every Monday evening 7-10PM) is -quite- smooth compare to the last week. We'd learn greetings for the beginning and starts to know the Hiragana letters. By now I've remembered all the 71 letters and I even managed to write down the super long title of TVXQ's song, Doushite kimi wo Suki ni natte Shimattandarou! I have to say I'm quite impressed with myself...LOL. There's still more to come and everything's going to get tougher so have to prepare myself!
Japanese used 4 type of character in their writing:
1) Hiragana (the one I'm currently learning -which is used for every word in the language, kind of the noun and all)
2) Katakana (going to learn this after the mid-sem exam...and going to have trouble with it maybe...people tend to mix the letters with Hiragana...I know I will, duh. -use for writing names and foreign words for ex: engineer)
3) Kanji (as in the Chinese character, is used to simplify things as one character of Kanji can represent two or sometimes three hiragana letters, as far as I'm concern...not really sure about this as we're not going to learn it...people who knows the character may find it an advantage but also can find it confusing...for there are certain letters that sounds and means different in Japanese...either way, I'm not going to bother it for now...heh!)
4) Roman letters (as in the normal ABC of course).
This is the Hiragana chart I've been busying myself with.
I'll be posting the list of greetings and all after this. Hope that I can keep on with the class, and hope that this will help you guys, like how it helped me! ^^ If I happened to got any facts wrong somehow feel free to tell! I'll be appreciating it much~
Just a quick note, I'm halfway done with the final part of the three-shot A Beautiful, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer. Going to post the second part as soon as I finishes it...if there's no need for correction with my next Japanese homework...the corrections are always so many~
Chapter 2 is on a long~ hiatus...sorry (T_T) There's nothing much I can do about that one...(-_-)" How's Chapter 1 though? Is it good? Do tell what you think and perhaps some idea? It's great to hear opinions~ ^^
Till then, happy learning~!
Music of the Day: Lee Seung Gi -Let's Break Up
P/S: I've fallen in love with his voice, hard. It helps that he's a nice guy (and kind of cute) too. Going to put up more of his songs later. And do check out the MV too...it's cool to me (especially the final tunnel part, that's my fav) and the camera work is awesome. I've downloaded almost all of his albums and MVs...I wonder why he's always got beaten up in it (the MVs)...Oh, did I mention that he's a ballad singer?
..........................................................
I've been listening to too much ballad lately...must be the fact I'll be turning 20 soon...20...ARGHH~ (-_-)"
~Don't-Want-to-Grow-Up-Just-Yet Heiji.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
CHAPTER 1: THE DAY OUR WORLD DISAPPEAR -PART 8-
LITERALLY
CHAPTER 1: THE DAY OUR WORLD DISAPPEAR
Author: Heiji Hatsutori (yup, that's me.)
Proclaimed: I own them all, enough said.
A/N: Finally it's time to move houses~ Going to go back to spend the night at Gramps tomorrow (20th Dis) and the flight to KL is due the next day at 8 AM...and then we'll take another flight to Sarawak...so might not be able to online for a couple of days...I'm not sure how the internet connection at the new home after all...and also, will be leaving to college on 27th Dis as the new term and classes starts at the very next day...I can't really imagine how it'll be...everything seems to be so jumbled up right now...*sigh* so do pray that our journey will be smooth and okay and (hopefully) I'll be able to write something during the period...really, this is driving me crazy...I want to write~ T_T
Either way, just so you know, comments are love~ *wink* ^^
-PART 8-
“Words are dangerous, Yong-jae.”
“Why is that?”
We were having our usual lunch on the school roof. I eat my lunchbox from home and Seul-ri with the super-spicy-sardine-bun, the canteen lady’s specialty. It is indeed very spicy, and as far as I’m concern, Seul-ri is the only person who was able to eat it with no troubles at all, to the amusement of the canteen lady herself, that sometimes, she added the ingredients twice the spiciness, to test Seul-ri that is. Yet The-Invisible never lose, even for once. The canteen lady tried harder each day that she eventually breaks the record of making the spiciest sardine bun ever! I wonder if Seul-ri ever eats it. No, I wonder if there is even any person in this world who would eat that bun! Not a great idea, I guess. Or so I think.
“You see, pens are mightier than swords.”
“I know that, what are you trying to say actually?
“Words can leave a big print on the heart. It can kill you softly. If you’re hurt physically, it will heal. But if you’re hurt mentally, your heart is hurt, scarred, whatever, it’ll take a long time to heal. Also, words can actually imprisoned someone deep under. It controls you without you even realize it. That can happen, you know.”
“You sound like a Physiologist to me, Seul-ri. Something’s wrong? Why you suddenly…”
“It’s nothing, it just popped out of my head, must be because of the bun.”
I took a glance at the bun, and the color of the sardine shivers me up, there was nothing but red. And it is a lot darker than usual.
“Seul-ri, that bun…”
“Oh? It’s the record breaking bun. You know; the spiciest one. I asked the canteen lady to make one for me yesterday. For some reason she looked so happy when I did. I wonder why?”
I can feel my jaw drop off. My whole body start to shiver up, not because of the bun, but the look on Seul-ri’s face, is so normal! And that is the record bun, for God’s sake!
“How is it?”
“It’s good! Awesome!! I’m ordering it again tomorrow, you want it too?”
I felt like fainting.
“No.”
“I thought so. But this is indeed really good! That canteen lady is sure an expert, do remind me to ask the type of chili she used, must be good for snack.”
“Seul-ri…are you…somehow…a devil? How can you eat that?”
“I am…is there anything wrong?”
There is the grin.
“No…forget it.”
“Ok…if you say so, Yong-jae.”
I never realize it before, maybe because I never really talked about Seul-ri to others. I usually call the name, Seul-ri when we talked to each other, just as I am referred as Yong-jae.
“No he, she, or whatever.”
Those words…
“Words can actually imprisoned someone deep under. It controls you without you even realize it.”
I was controlled by it. Literally.
“Kid, you’re crying?”
I find myself tongue-tied, and hurt. Seul-ri is my friend, the only person I have in this world, yet how can I did this, saying as if we are strangers? Since when did I put a barrier between us? How can I be so…heartless?
Wait…I already am.
“We’re done. Let’s go.”
“How about the kid? Are we going to leave him just like this? At least attach the wound a bit.”
“We don’t have much time for that! The faster we leave the better. I have a bad feeling that devil will come. Besides, he’ll die anyway sooner or later, no need to bother.”
“But sir…”
“What?”
“…nothing.”
. Mr. Lee and the guy are preparing to leave. The crystal is put in a transparent box, shining brightly. The guard looks at me and his eyes soften a bit.
“I used to have a son your age, kid. We need the crystal, but I don’t really wish for you to die the way he did. I don’t expect you to forgive us, either. Hate me if you want. I’ll feel better that way.”
With that said, he stands up yet I manage to grab his hand.
“Tell me why you did this.”
Looking at me, right in the eye, he answers.
“It’s for the sake of our master tomorrow.”
“So you killed your son for him?”
There is a slight pause.
“No, my wife did, his mother.”
“At least…I was killed by a stranger, not a family member.”
Those words must have hit him hard, for his expressions worsen.
“You know where to poke the needle.”
“Seul-ri’s better than me. You can really cry.”
“Put the box down, now.”
All eyes turn to the direction of the voice, which is on my right. It is Seul-ri, in the worst condition ever. Blood all over the body, on the right side of the face, under the lips, on the clothes, which are also torn here and there, yet somehow, the eyes, those black eyes, is still so cold. There is no light at all, dark. Slowly, the legs start moving towards us. Each step leaves drops of blood behind yet there’s no stopping Seul-ri. The eyes just fixes at the box.
“Speak of the devil…”
“No way, you beat all of my man?!”
“…your friend here is not human, kid.”
The guard stands up, and spread his arms, preventing Seul-ri from moving forward. I try to move myself, but my arms and legs are all numb, I forgot they give me anesthetics before, and I feel myself more helpless than ever.
“Get out of my way.”
“No.”
“I don’t repeat twice.”
“You can’t fight me in that condition.”
“Says who?”
Seul-ri runs towards the guard, holding his right fist. The guard is getting ready to catch Seul-ri when suddenly the body bends down, the right leg stretched outward and swings to the guard’s left leg, locking it, and causing him to fall flat on the floor. Immediately Seul-ri starts to get up, to chase after Mr. Lee who had already left with the crystal but the guard is quick enough to grab Seul-ri’s left leg, pulling the latter down on the floor, with a painful groan. I bet it hit the wound on the shoulder first, drops of blood starts pooling where the shoulder lands. The guard stands up, but not letting his guard down, for he immediately turns Seul-ri’s body to face him and pins the arms. The guard shook his head a bit and let out a sigh, he must have not expected that.
“Tell me, kid. Who are you, really? You’re no human. You’re more like…”
“A devil? I am, heard that a million of times already.”
“I don’t want to kill you here.”
“I don’t want to die here either.”
“Give up already, your friend’s dying over there.”
Seul-ri turns to face me. The look on the face is indescribable. The guard gets up slowly before hitting Seul-ri on the stomach with a side of his hand. The pain must have been excruciating. Seul-ri hardly catches a breath.
“Sorry. Just as a precaution. You’re unpredictable.”
The guard is on his feet now. The sound of car coming from outside and he quickly walk past Seul-ri, reaching the door. There, he turns, when Seul-ri suddenly calls him.
“You’ll be sorry for letting me alive today. I’ll get the crystal back, no matter what.”
“I’ll be waiting for you then, devil, waiting for you to kill me.”
He looks at me and smiles as he said that. Of course, Seul-ri didn’t see it. He closes the door and leave. At the very instant, Seul-ri gets up, and moves closer to me, the right hand on the chest.
“Yong-jae…hold on.”
“Seul-ri…”
“I won’t let you die, trust me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I…the way I address you…”
I don’t know how to say it. Seeing Seul-ri, covered in blood, makes me sick. But I have to say it somehow. Seul-ri deserves to know.
“It’s alright. I already know.”
“What?”
“I heard it all. Sorry, but I put a bug on your shirt. That’s how I find you here.”
So Seul-ri already knows. Oh god…
“It’s ok. I don’t mind. That’s better actually, and I already noticed this a long time ago to be exact.”
“Seul-ri…”
“I mean it. That hides me from other people. They don’t have to know who I am, who I really am. I’m grateful for that, that’s why I never say anything. I’m happy, that you are the only one who knows me. I’m glad it’s you, Yong-jae.”
“Still…”
“The one at fault is me, Yong-jae. I hide a lot of things from you.”
“I don’t mind, Seul-ri.”
There is a smile.
“It’s coming out now, Yong-jae.”
“What?”
“My heart.”
Seul-ri closes both eyes; hand on the chest, concentrating. Then, on counting to three, blood splashes out from the body as I stare in horror. There, on the hand covered in blood, is another crystal, black.
“You don’t have to cut the chest open, seriously. Those guys just don’t know the right method, didn’t they?”
The black crystal, the devil’s heart, the one they say the strongest.
“Seul-ri…that is…”
“I told you, I’m a devil alright.”
“But why…”
“I’m giving this to you, as a replacement.”
“But you’ll die!”
Seul-ri just smiles, and moves closer, the hand reaches out for my opened chest.
“No…Seul-ri…stop it! I don’t want your heart!”
“There’s no stopping me, Yong-jae. I promised your mother, that I will protect you, no matter what.”
Seul-ri smiles again, sweetly, and put the crystal into my body. I can feel like something burning and then it stops suddenly. Somehow, I feel like…normal.
“Ok, done. It blends well with your body, good.”
I’m speechless. I could not think of anything. Now, Seul-ri’s heart is mine, and that makes Seul-ri heartless. I was about to die just now, yet Seul-ri…
“I’ll attach the wound. Don’t worry. My mother used to be a nurse, so I know a bit here and there on how to do it. I’ve done it before, just trust me, ok?”
Seul-ri starts to attach the wound with full concentration. It took faster than I thought. For a minute it’s all done. Looking at Seul-ri, I feel like crying.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m not going to die easily. Stop crying, will you? I promise, I get your heart back, it belongs to you, and you only. I’ll get it back for you, I swear. Till then, take care of mine, ok?”
“Seul-ri…why…I…”
“You’ll hate me for doing this, I know. But I want you to know, no matter what, you are the most precious person in my life.”
“Seul-ri…you are also my most precious person, Seul-ri.”
“Really? Thanks…I’ll remember that. Because of that, also, please…”
Seul-ri put a hand on my face, closing my eyes. I can feel my head starts to get dizzy. Everything starts to go black. I have a bad feeling about this.
“Seul-ri?”
Silence.
And that person said it.
“Don’t forgive me.”
---------------------------------END OF CHAPTER 1----------------
A/N: Been hit by a massive writer's block lately...I can't seem to be able to write anything...*sigh* That means a longer period for the next update which is chapter 2...for this...is the final part!! *should I be cheering? LOL* I want to cut it to two actually but I don't know where will be best to halt the story and make you wait (kill me, I know you want to) so I decided to just post the end of it already...and damn that's long~ Besides, to end this as Part 9 sounds...fishy? I don't know...I don't really like the idea somehow~
Chapter 2 will come not-so-soon (help me kill those writer's block demon~~!!) and the three-shot A Butterfly, A Louvre and (Not) A Freer is also on halt...mind you, I won't post the next part until I finished it...that's somewhat a policy (?) of mine...but at least that one is finishing...so yeah~
Also, you read it right, this is the end of Chapter 1, and yeah, I bet you want to kill me (somebody already told me so) for end it like that, but then, cliffhanger is my muse~ so yeah~ XD
Do look forward to Chapter 2: The Darkness of Yesterday though~ *glance at the writer's block demon*
Till then, happy holidays! ^^
Music of the day: Chantal Kreviazuk -Leaving On A Jet Plane
P/S: I will, literally.
~Going-to-leave-this-beloved-house Heiji.
Say goodbye.
CHAPTER 1: THE DAY OUR WORLD DISAPPEAR
Author: Heiji Hatsutori (yup, that's me.)
Proclaimed: I own them all, enough said.
A/N: Finally it's time to move houses~ Going to go back to spend the night at Gramps tomorrow (20th Dis) and the flight to KL is due the next day at 8 AM...and then we'll take another flight to Sarawak...so might not be able to online for a couple of days...I'm not sure how the internet connection at the new home after all...and also, will be leaving to college on 27th Dis as the new term and classes starts at the very next day...I can't really imagine how it'll be...everything seems to be so jumbled up right now...*sigh* so do pray that our journey will be smooth and okay and (hopefully) I'll be able to write something during the period...really, this is driving me crazy...I want to write~ T_T
Either way, just so you know, comments are love~ *wink* ^^
-PART 8-
“Words are dangerous, Yong-jae.”
“Why is that?”
We were having our usual lunch on the school roof. I eat my lunchbox from home and Seul-ri with the super-spicy-sardine-bun, the canteen lady’s specialty. It is indeed very spicy, and as far as I’m concern, Seul-ri is the only person who was able to eat it with no troubles at all, to the amusement of the canteen lady herself, that sometimes, she added the ingredients twice the spiciness, to test Seul-ri that is. Yet The-Invisible never lose, even for once. The canteen lady tried harder each day that she eventually breaks the record of making the spiciest sardine bun ever! I wonder if Seul-ri ever eats it. No, I wonder if there is even any person in this world who would eat that bun! Not a great idea, I guess. Or so I think.
“You see, pens are mightier than swords.”
“I know that, what are you trying to say actually?
“Words can leave a big print on the heart. It can kill you softly. If you’re hurt physically, it will heal. But if you’re hurt mentally, your heart is hurt, scarred, whatever, it’ll take a long time to heal. Also, words can actually imprisoned someone deep under. It controls you without you even realize it. That can happen, you know.”
“You sound like a Physiologist to me, Seul-ri. Something’s wrong? Why you suddenly…”
“It’s nothing, it just popped out of my head, must be because of the bun.”
I took a glance at the bun, and the color of the sardine shivers me up, there was nothing but red. And it is a lot darker than usual.
“Seul-ri, that bun…”
“Oh? It’s the record breaking bun. You know; the spiciest one. I asked the canteen lady to make one for me yesterday. For some reason she looked so happy when I did. I wonder why?”
I can feel my jaw drop off. My whole body start to shiver up, not because of the bun, but the look on Seul-ri’s face, is so normal! And that is the record bun, for God’s sake!
“How is it?”
“It’s good! Awesome!! I’m ordering it again tomorrow, you want it too?”
I felt like fainting.
“No.”
“I thought so. But this is indeed really good! That canteen lady is sure an expert, do remind me to ask the type of chili she used, must be good for snack.”
“Seul-ri…are you…somehow…a devil? How can you eat that?”
“I am…is there anything wrong?”
There is the grin.
“No…forget it.”
“Ok…if you say so, Yong-jae.”
I never realize it before, maybe because I never really talked about Seul-ri to others. I usually call the name, Seul-ri when we talked to each other, just as I am referred as Yong-jae.
“No he, she, or whatever.”
Those words…
“Words can actually imprisoned someone deep under. It controls you without you even realize it.”
I was controlled by it. Literally.
“Kid, you’re crying?”
I find myself tongue-tied, and hurt. Seul-ri is my friend, the only person I have in this world, yet how can I did this, saying as if we are strangers? Since when did I put a barrier between us? How can I be so…heartless?
Wait…I already am.
“We’re done. Let’s go.”
“How about the kid? Are we going to leave him just like this? At least attach the wound a bit.”
“We don’t have much time for that! The faster we leave the better. I have a bad feeling that devil will come. Besides, he’ll die anyway sooner or later, no need to bother.”
“But sir…”
“What?”
“…nothing.”
. Mr. Lee and the guy are preparing to leave. The crystal is put in a transparent box, shining brightly. The guard looks at me and his eyes soften a bit.
“I used to have a son your age, kid. We need the crystal, but I don’t really wish for you to die the way he did. I don’t expect you to forgive us, either. Hate me if you want. I’ll feel better that way.”
With that said, he stands up yet I manage to grab his hand.
“Tell me why you did this.”
Looking at me, right in the eye, he answers.
“It’s for the sake of our master tomorrow.”
“So you killed your son for him?”
There is a slight pause.
“No, my wife did, his mother.”
“At least…I was killed by a stranger, not a family member.”
Those words must have hit him hard, for his expressions worsen.
“You know where to poke the needle.”
“Seul-ri’s better than me. You can really cry.”
“Put the box down, now.”
All eyes turn to the direction of the voice, which is on my right. It is Seul-ri, in the worst condition ever. Blood all over the body, on the right side of the face, under the lips, on the clothes, which are also torn here and there, yet somehow, the eyes, those black eyes, is still so cold. There is no light at all, dark. Slowly, the legs start moving towards us. Each step leaves drops of blood behind yet there’s no stopping Seul-ri. The eyes just fixes at the box.
“Speak of the devil…”
“No way, you beat all of my man?!”
“…your friend here is not human, kid.”
The guard stands up, and spread his arms, preventing Seul-ri from moving forward. I try to move myself, but my arms and legs are all numb, I forgot they give me anesthetics before, and I feel myself more helpless than ever.
“Get out of my way.”
“No.”
“I don’t repeat twice.”
“You can’t fight me in that condition.”
“Says who?”
Seul-ri runs towards the guard, holding his right fist. The guard is getting ready to catch Seul-ri when suddenly the body bends down, the right leg stretched outward and swings to the guard’s left leg, locking it, and causing him to fall flat on the floor. Immediately Seul-ri starts to get up, to chase after Mr. Lee who had already left with the crystal but the guard is quick enough to grab Seul-ri’s left leg, pulling the latter down on the floor, with a painful groan. I bet it hit the wound on the shoulder first, drops of blood starts pooling where the shoulder lands. The guard stands up, but not letting his guard down, for he immediately turns Seul-ri’s body to face him and pins the arms. The guard shook his head a bit and let out a sigh, he must have not expected that.
“Tell me, kid. Who are you, really? You’re no human. You’re more like…”
“A devil? I am, heard that a million of times already.”
“I don’t want to kill you here.”
“I don’t want to die here either.”
“Give up already, your friend’s dying over there.”
Seul-ri turns to face me. The look on the face is indescribable. The guard gets up slowly before hitting Seul-ri on the stomach with a side of his hand. The pain must have been excruciating. Seul-ri hardly catches a breath.
“Sorry. Just as a precaution. You’re unpredictable.”
The guard is on his feet now. The sound of car coming from outside and he quickly walk past Seul-ri, reaching the door. There, he turns, when Seul-ri suddenly calls him.
“You’ll be sorry for letting me alive today. I’ll get the crystal back, no matter what.”
“I’ll be waiting for you then, devil, waiting for you to kill me.”
He looks at me and smiles as he said that. Of course, Seul-ri didn’t see it. He closes the door and leave. At the very instant, Seul-ri gets up, and moves closer to me, the right hand on the chest.
“Yong-jae…hold on.”
“Seul-ri…”
“I won’t let you die, trust me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I…the way I address you…”
I don’t know how to say it. Seeing Seul-ri, covered in blood, makes me sick. But I have to say it somehow. Seul-ri deserves to know.
“It’s alright. I already know.”
“What?”
“I heard it all. Sorry, but I put a bug on your shirt. That’s how I find you here.”
So Seul-ri already knows. Oh god…
“It’s ok. I don’t mind. That’s better actually, and I already noticed this a long time ago to be exact.”
“Seul-ri…”
“I mean it. That hides me from other people. They don’t have to know who I am, who I really am. I’m grateful for that, that’s why I never say anything. I’m happy, that you are the only one who knows me. I’m glad it’s you, Yong-jae.”
“Still…”
“The one at fault is me, Yong-jae. I hide a lot of things from you.”
“I don’t mind, Seul-ri.”
There is a smile.
“It’s coming out now, Yong-jae.”
“What?”
“My heart.”
Seul-ri closes both eyes; hand on the chest, concentrating. Then, on counting to three, blood splashes out from the body as I stare in horror. There, on the hand covered in blood, is another crystal, black.
“You don’t have to cut the chest open, seriously. Those guys just don’t know the right method, didn’t they?”
The black crystal, the devil’s heart, the one they say the strongest.
“Seul-ri…that is…”
“I told you, I’m a devil alright.”
“But why…”
“I’m giving this to you, as a replacement.”
“But you’ll die!”
Seul-ri just smiles, and moves closer, the hand reaches out for my opened chest.
“No…Seul-ri…stop it! I don’t want your heart!”
“There’s no stopping me, Yong-jae. I promised your mother, that I will protect you, no matter what.”
Seul-ri smiles again, sweetly, and put the crystal into my body. I can feel like something burning and then it stops suddenly. Somehow, I feel like…normal.
“Ok, done. It blends well with your body, good.”
I’m speechless. I could not think of anything. Now, Seul-ri’s heart is mine, and that makes Seul-ri heartless. I was about to die just now, yet Seul-ri…
“I’ll attach the wound. Don’t worry. My mother used to be a nurse, so I know a bit here and there on how to do it. I’ve done it before, just trust me, ok?”
Seul-ri starts to attach the wound with full concentration. It took faster than I thought. For a minute it’s all done. Looking at Seul-ri, I feel like crying.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m not going to die easily. Stop crying, will you? I promise, I get your heart back, it belongs to you, and you only. I’ll get it back for you, I swear. Till then, take care of mine, ok?”
“Seul-ri…why…I…”
“You’ll hate me for doing this, I know. But I want you to know, no matter what, you are the most precious person in my life.”
“Seul-ri…you are also my most precious person, Seul-ri.”
“Really? Thanks…I’ll remember that. Because of that, also, please…”
Seul-ri put a hand on my face, closing my eyes. I can feel my head starts to get dizzy. Everything starts to go black. I have a bad feeling about this.
“Seul-ri?”
Silence.
And that person said it.
“Don’t forgive me.”
---------------------------------END OF CHAPTER 1----------------
A/N: Been hit by a massive writer's block lately...I can't seem to be able to write anything...*sigh* That means a longer period for the next update which is chapter 2...for this...is the final part!! *should I be cheering? LOL* I want to cut it to two actually but I don't know where will be best to halt the story and make you wait (kill me, I know you want to) so I decided to just post the end of it already...and damn that's long~ Besides, to end this as Part 9 sounds...fishy? I don't know...I don't really like the idea somehow~
Chapter 2 will come not-so-soon (help me kill those writer's block demon~~!!) and the three-shot A Butterfly, A Louvre and (Not) A Freer is also on halt...mind you, I won't post the next part until I finished it...that's somewhat a policy (?) of mine...but at least that one is finishing...so yeah~
Also, you read it right, this is the end of Chapter 1, and yeah, I bet you want to kill me (somebody already told me so) for end it like that, but then, cliffhanger is my muse~ so yeah~ XD
Do look forward to Chapter 2: The Darkness of Yesterday though~ *glance at the writer's block demon*
Till then, happy holidays! ^^
Music of the day: Chantal Kreviazuk -Leaving On A Jet Plane
P/S: I will, literally.
~Going-to-leave-this-beloved-house Heiji.
Say goodbye.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Hotarubi no Mori e (In the Forest of Fireflies)
Hi.
I was wondering around my blog list as usual and stumble upon this post at Animeshoon I always check this blog for the blogger (I don't know and sure whether it's a he or she...though somehow I think it's a she LOL) always post about the latest anime episodes and stuffs...this time to commemorate with the blog's 2-year anniversaries the blogger put on some links to download a manga (the one on the post title) and 2 movies...which I might download one...depends on my mood~
So...(as if it's not obvious enough) I'm going to recommend the manga (the reason I put the link above is so that you can download it...aren't I sweet? LOL Unfortunately for me, 4shared simply hates me (I can never download from there...tsk~) so I search and read it online instead at Mangafox and wow~ I can't resist myself to post about it here...
Basically, this is a one-volume manga which consist of 4 one-shots altogether...
1) Overhearing a Flower Song
2) Into the Forest of Fireflies' Light (Hotarubi no Mori E)
3) The Fallling of Autumn Leaves
4) Deepening the Scar - deals with incest, and it displays the feelings of a sister towards her brother
The pic and the synopsis below is for the second one-shot and the title of the volume Hotarubi no Mori e...
By HeijiHatsutori at 2009-12-07
A little girl is lost in an enchanted forest and is rescued by a masked young boy. They become friends but the boy refuses to let her touch him. Years pass, the little girl grows up. She returns to the forest and finds that her feelings for the boy has changed. The boy still refuses to be touched, saying that he will disappear...
(credits to Animeshoon.blogspot.com)
As for the stories...they are all awesome~ My favorite must be the second story...and they make a great choice naming the volume after that particular story...it moved me to tears! I can't really tell how the story goes for all 4 of it (these are all one-shots remember?) and I'm not sure how to portray them to words either so all that I can say is after reading it all, especially the second and the fourth story I feel like my heart just stops breathing...it breaks my heart and achingly beautiful...and damn, I'm incoherent...it's that good, mind you.
The arts are simple and beautiful and Midorikawa Yuki-sensei is simply awesome...each panels means something and it flows perfectly with the stories...it also occurs to me that she is the manga-ka to one of the anime I want to find and download and watch, Natsume Yuujinchou...or something like Natsume's Book of Friends...the series already got the second season and is said to be good and had always pricked my interest...I'm damn sure going to download it after this...
I love following/reading the forums there at Mangafox and the good thing about all these discussions is they usually recommend a similar style manga or something equally as good...and upon landing a recommendation linking to Tsukuba Sakura-sensei I feel like 'damn, that's sooo true!' And now I forgot again to recommend her works...*sigh~*
I'm sorry for not much information perhaps (there's no article for her at Wikipedia and somehow it pissed me off a bit) so I'm going to put on links to read her works at Mangafox
and Onemanga.
They got different works of her at both sites so do check them all out! I'm going to do so too! But really, you HAVE to read this...and enjoys it and maybe cries a bit like me...it's too...oh god I'm out of words to say...
Mind you, not much series can drive me like this...Midorikawa Yuki-sensei is awesome...did I repeat the words now? Pardon my lack of vocabularies...my mind simply not in it's best state now...so blur, so numb, and heck, I don't even know what the hell did I type now! ARGHH~
Might as well read her other series before sleep (dang it what time is it now??) and might cries myself to bed...listening to this song (read the music of the day below) in repeat mode does not help me much either...seriously, why am I so emo tonight (or should I say this morning)? I need to snap myself out of it or I'll go crazy...still, do read and enjoy it, people!!
BTW, I started posting on my Livejournal and will put all of my stories there but no worries, I'm not going to abandon this blog...still going to post stories (that makes it 2 blogs for stories!) and rant about...haha~ That journal is going to be specifically for my writing as there are lots of awesome writers there and OMG I already got myself a reader for Literally! I hope by this I'm going to really improve myself and get more idea to write! Still, everyone's support is much loved~ Thanks!
Till the, take care people! Ja ne~
Music of the day: Kawada Mami -Another Planet
P/S: This is one of the OSTs for the anime Shakugan no Shana the first season and I must say I've fallen for Kawada Mami's voice already...there are many songs of hers that become anime songs and I like most of them! I never watch Shakugan no Shana before (the only episode I did watch turns out to be the last episode instead! ARGHH~) but really going to do so!
Another Planet can be consider as a slow song from Kawada compares to other anime songs from her like Hishoku no Sora (also from Shakugan no Shana), Asu e no Namida (Onegai Twins), and PSI-Missing (To aru Majutsu no Index) and it actually caught me by suprised that her voice can actually sound so soothing and the mid-tempo melody just compliments it all perfectly...check it out at my playlist as always! ^^
I read and copy the translations just before I read the manga above and it really is a damn mistake of me...this song can be considers as quite a sad song...with the longing feeling and all and reading this volume after that just kills me at the heart twice harder...I might post the lyrics here after this...and I'm soooo going to write something from it...
I don't know why I did what I did...listening to this song (I can always stop the song to be frank) while reading the freaking heartbreaking manga...masochist enough? Or maybe I'm just damn emo...tsk~
I'm rambling, damn it.
~The-quite-unstable-at-3AM Heiji
I'm too blur and numb to write something now.
Pardon me.
Sorry.
I was wondering around my blog list as usual and stumble upon this post at Animeshoon I always check this blog for the blogger (I don't know and sure whether it's a he or she...though somehow I think it's a she LOL) always post about the latest anime episodes and stuffs...this time to commemorate with the blog's 2-year anniversaries the blogger put on some links to download a manga (the one on the post title) and 2 movies...which I might download one...depends on my mood~
So...(as if it's not obvious enough) I'm going to recommend the manga (the reason I put the link above is so that you can download it...
Basically, this is a one-volume manga which consist of 4 one-shots altogether...
1) Overhearing a Flower Song
2) Into the Forest of Fireflies' Light (Hotarubi no Mori E)
3) The Fallling of Autumn Leaves
4) Deepening the Scar - deals with incest, and it displays the feelings of a sister towards her brother
The pic and the synopsis below is for the second one-shot and the title of the volume Hotarubi no Mori e...
By HeijiHatsutori at 2009-12-07
A little girl is lost in an enchanted forest and is rescued by a masked young boy. They become friends but the boy refuses to let her touch him. Years pass, the little girl grows up. She returns to the forest and finds that her feelings for the boy has changed. The boy still refuses to be touched, saying that he will disappear...
(credits to Animeshoon.blogspot.com)
As for the stories...they are all awesome~ My favorite must be the second story...and they make a great choice naming the volume after that particular story...it moved me to tears! I can't really tell how the story goes for all 4 of it (these are all one-shots remember?) and I'm not sure how to portray them to words either so all that I can say is after reading it all, especially the second and the fourth story I feel like my heart just stops breathing...it breaks my heart and achingly beautiful...and damn, I'm incoherent...it's that good, mind you.
The arts are simple and beautiful and Midorikawa Yuki-sensei is simply awesome...each panels means something and it flows perfectly with the stories...it also occurs to me that she is the manga-ka to one of the anime I want to find and download and watch, Natsume Yuujinchou...or something like Natsume's Book of Friends...the series already got the second season and is said to be good and had always pricked my interest...I'm damn sure going to download it after this...
I love following/reading the forums there at Mangafox and the good thing about all these discussions is they usually recommend a similar style manga or something equally as good...and upon landing a recommendation linking to Tsukuba Sakura-sensei I feel like 'damn, that's sooo true!' And now I forgot again to recommend her works...*sigh~*
I'm sorry for not much information perhaps (there's no article for her at Wikipedia and somehow it pissed me off a bit) so I'm going to put on links to read her works at Mangafox
and Onemanga.
They got different works of her at both sites so do check them all out! I'm going to do so too! But really, you HAVE to read this...and enjoys it and maybe cries a bit like me...it's too...oh god I'm out of words to say...
Mind you, not much series can drive me like this...Midorikawa Yuki-sensei is awesome...did I repeat the words now? Pardon my lack of vocabularies...my mind simply not in it's best state now...so blur, so numb, and heck, I don't even know what the hell did I type now! ARGHH~
Might as well read her other series before sleep (dang it what time is it now??) and might cries myself to bed...listening to this song (read the music of the day below) in repeat mode does not help me much either...seriously, why am I so emo tonight (or should I say this morning)? I need to snap myself out of it or I'll go crazy...still, do read and enjoy it, people!!
BTW, I started posting on my Livejournal and will put all of my stories there but no worries, I'm not going to abandon this blog...still going to post stories (that makes it 2 blogs for stories!) and rant about...haha~ That journal is going to be specifically for my writing as there are lots of awesome writers there and OMG I already got myself a reader for Literally! I hope by this I'm going to really improve myself and get more idea to write! Still, everyone's support is much loved~ Thanks!
Till the, take care people! Ja ne~
Music of the day: Kawada Mami -Another Planet
P/S: This is one of the OSTs for the anime Shakugan no Shana the first season and I must say I've fallen for Kawada Mami's voice already...there are many songs of hers that become anime songs and I like most of them! I never watch Shakugan no Shana before (the only episode I did watch turns out to be the last episode instead! ARGHH~) but really going to do so!
Another Planet can be consider as a slow song from Kawada compares to other anime songs from her like Hishoku no Sora (also from Shakugan no Shana), Asu e no Namida (Onegai Twins), and PSI-Missing (To aru Majutsu no Index) and it actually caught me by suprised that her voice can actually sound so soothing and the mid-tempo melody just compliments it all perfectly...check it out at my playlist as always! ^^
I read and copy the translations just before I read the manga above and it really is a damn mistake of me...this song can be considers as quite a sad song...with the longing feeling and all and reading this volume after that just kills me at the heart twice harder...I might post the lyrics here after this...and I'm soooo going to write something from it...
I don't know why I did what I did...listening to this song (I can always stop the song to be frank) while reading the freaking heartbreaking manga...masochist enough? Or maybe I'm just damn emo...tsk~
I'm rambling, damn it.
~The-quite-unstable-at-3AM Heiji
I'm too blur and numb to write something now.
Pardon me.
Sorry.
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