A is for And The Looking Glass Falls (and intro to the AtoZ challenge)

Apparently there are times that I wound up forgetting the fact that this blog actually exist (to my horror). Of course, I can make 1001 excuses on why I'm not updating and I swear it will all be plausible in so many ways but that still didn't change the fact that this. blog. is. dead. (sorta).

So in order to revive this place from the oblivion, I'm participating in the AtoZ blogging challenge where the blogger is required to blog everyday sans Sunday starting on 1st of April (which is today, yeah). You can check out the details by clicking on the badge at the sidebar.

(I mentioned my intention on doing this to my 'editor' imouto and I'm pretty sure she's half-convinced it's not going to work; but I need to get a move on or I'm forever stuck in limbo thanks to the disaster that is last year's NaNoWriMo. For the record I don't open the MS Word since. Damnit.)

Anyways.

It occurs to me that I'm yet to put in a link to the last piece of completed work I ever did (and the only one last year OTL), and it just so happen it starts with A, so what better way to start the whole thing by doing so?

And The Looking Glass Falls

Holding Onto Gravity, That Other Blog, And Me (Ranting Like A Boss)

I mentioned before on how my interests and mood can be divided into three and all, but I've come to the point where there's an addition to that; nothing. Yes, as in none of the three manage to make me focus on them. Sure, I still follow on music (or rather, keep on rediscovering and repeating songs from way back or something), I still don't give up on writing (the editor was thisclose on exploding upon the discovery that is my draft folder), I still watch anime (though it's been years since I last download the latest episode of currently/aired anime -end up falling into Ghost In The Shell fandom instead), and I still read manga (which mostly are still ongoing and stops at freaking cliffhanger and make me rant endlessly like what), but it's just come to the point where I don't do those obsessively like I usually did, and the possibility of me letting them go or something is so so horrifying I end up upgrading/messing with the html on Livejournal's master list and make changes here and there on this blog.

Which leads to me (sorta) rediscovering things and this (totally, definitely will be long) post is my attempt to make peace with myself and rekindling all those passions (a.k.a me going to rant and justifying myself so yeah you might not want to read this). Never mind this is my first post in a long while, and the first in 2013 no less; I sincerely think we have establish the fact that I'm characteristically late with everything by now, so yeah.

Before you click the 'x' button though, here's the link as per usual.

Holding Onto Gravity 

Eight Flew Over, One was Destroyed and (Somewhat) Final Winter Anime Impression

If I can divide my mood and overall interest, I think it'll be largely into three portion; writing, anime, and music. And I tend to focus on one interest at one time (somewhat obsessively compare to others) and that, really, is the main reason of my procrastination. Ironically, I realized this when I finished the first episode of THE anime and caught myself (almost) tempted to write the first impression of that episode instead of the intended post; which is my writing. And when I'm damn interested in writing, I won't even bother with anime; heck, that's (one of) the reason I (kinda) stop downloading some anime instead of ones I really watch, but more on that later.

For now, this is the link, as per usual.

Eight Flew Over, One was Destroyed

Because They Say It's The End Of The World, Baby

So this is the usual new year (and random) post; because it's always easy to post something when there's actually something happening, and it's easier to say all those kinds of excuses in the hope of fixing it, even when someone said that resolution is for hopeless people, because oh well, I am hopeless in anyways possible.

The fact that I (kinda) ditch this blog for the whole latter half of 2011 is enough of an example already.

I won't explain myself though, since all the starters of my posts lately always resolves on the same issue, and any words that comes after 'because' will end up being a whole pile of reason (again) so I shall refrain of doing the same this time around. After all, hey, it's new year, no? Something's got to change, and it's always best to start with the obvious.

If you realize what is, good for you, though no presents unfortunately. Virtual cookies count?

Timeless -Part 2-

This is long overdue, really. Usually I'll update this blog the same day or (at least) the next day after I updated the Livejournal but this time it took me 3 days. 3 FREAKING DAYS. I'm blaming the game Luxor (for being so addictive for some odd reason) and the Windows Media Player (for well, playing out the music -Mew's songs in particular, damn the band is awesome!- available) but in actuality it is only me to blame, isn't it? =_=||

To be frank it's obvious already the purpose of this post so they you go, the link.

Timeless -Part 2-

I mean, duh. Should I really explain it every time? O_o??

So on the last post I mentioned the probability of this one-shot to extend until 5th part, and apparently (to my relief) it will not go to that extend, as the next update will be the last part of Timeless. YES~!! \O/ I'll update it someday next month as I have to start writing a new one now, and you know I'm not that productive of a person, so yeah~

And when I DO going to write, (here goes) Ms 'Editor' a.k.a the dongsaeng (who currently is online on the next table LOL -and yes, she don't read this...yet) may be either:-

1) Nag me to write
2) Ask for spoilers (damn she ALWAYS does this)
3) Give me the don't-you-tell-me-anything-if-you-just-going-to-whine-at-me-later look

....and I guess the order will be no 3 first, followed by no 2 (when I told her I got idea) and no 1 (because she wants to read it heh). Predictable, but sadly there's nothing I can do about it. Heck, she managed to do them just fine (well, except no 3 is replaced with a LONG silence at the other end of the line) when I was in campus (the long long LONG Facebook messages can be quite horrifying), what will be the difference now that we are under one roof?

But as formidable a foe the editor is, the biggest challenge is myself and the laziness as I can't quite predict myself well, which sounds weird coming from one self, I know.

I mean, I don't even watch ONE episode of anime since I'm home, which says a lot.

Heh.

Enough of that though, for as lazy as I am, I do (I REALLY DO) have a plan on updating the blog with recommendation post-

Common sense: Come on, you said that for almost every random post =_=||

..........

Okay, I admit that but, BUT I really going to write these postS (yes, there are 2 of them):

1) Giant Killing (anime and manga)

-This is the only manga (so far) that is awesome enough to force me to read the Japanese raw, with the kanji and all. While I don't really get what happened (reminder: Kanji is the one big barrier in Japanese which is out to ruin my head, really) I at least get a gist of it (maybe 10-15%?) with my limited Kanji knowledge. Now that I think of it, maybe because of this that I haven't started my JLPT N4 revision? *Gasp!*

-Reason for post: THIS MANGA NEEDS MORE LOVE. Also planning this since Volume 19 ends in the middle of a freaking match (and my fav player is not playing due to collecting yellow card in the previous match -at least that's the reason I can make from the situation) and DAMN VOLUME 20 CANNOT COME FAST ENOUGH ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH /shot

-Post will contain: Info on the series (Wikipedia), anime vs manga part (since I follow both), list of character (found from the anime main website, needs editing though), and of course, Fan-girling over the series (bias alert).

2) Mew (band)

-I never planned on writing a recommendation post for a band before, really. As much as I love my music, I'm not knowledgeable in the area (heck, I can't even differentiate the genres of music properly, that's how bad I am =_=||). BUT, I am ready to make exception because of this band. Why you ask? THIS. BAND. IS. AWESOME. for the reasons below:

1) This is the band that effectively removing more than 60% existing songs in my handphone playlist, and as I am typing this there is a plan to remove MORE songs and replace them with the WHOLE songs from their albums.

2) I am listening to their songs as I am typing this and almost every single time I sit in front of my laptop, since I first downloaded the whole discography of the band, which is on the 24th of May a.k.a ONE WEEK AGO WITHOUT FAIL.

3) This band and the awesomness effectively reducing my K-Pop and any other songs in that matter rate of listen to as high as 90% -and that includes TVXQ, Super Junior, Linkin Park, 3 Doors Down, you name it, heck even the ultimate bias Junsu-sama does not come close.

4) This also manages to make my planned Giant Killing post comes to a drastic halt, as the fan-girling switches 180 degree to this band instead, in merely one to two days.

5) I was waiting to see if I ever going to get bored by the songs, but ultimately I got pawned instead -each listen makes me like the songs more and until now the number of favorites is already up to 10++ (note that it is still counting).

6) Is planning to buy the albums and going to their live one day -which had been described as AWESOME by lucky people who had attended them-and yes, I'll be saving my money for them instead of K-pop groups (despite them never come to Malaysia yet, but hey, I can hope right?), sorry people, this is the band that I'm not going to miss in my life.

7) Effectively made me their fan by their songs alone in 3 days. That's not an easy feat, as I'm picky with my songs. Not to mention to make me like THE WHOLE ALBUM and have them on repeat -the editor can testify on this, she is forever amused by how much I love the band.

8) Seriously, my Facebook wall was (almost) spammed with their lyrics as statuses, and that's not including the statuses which clearly fan-girling over the band.

-Reason for post: THIS BAND NEEDS MORE LOVE. Yes, the same like Giant Killing, as both are awesome stuffs but sadly underrated. Also because I cannot stop listening to them and it drives me somewhat crazy that there is nobody to spazz about them (except Nazo and the editor) thus the decision to spread the word.

-Post will contain: Info (wikipedia), pictures of the band (maybe, and from Google) videos (Youtube), list of songs and recommendations -maybe some opinion and lyric but not that analytical, due to lack of appropriate knowledge in the area and yes, of course there will be fan-girling, but maybe, maybe lack of bias (now this is new) since I cannot choose ANY BIAS AT ALL among all the songs =_=||

So yeah, I made my plans. And the posts will DEFINITELY up, since I have most of the materials gathered already.

This also means that there is a HUGE chance I may not be writing any stories in this period.

Heh.

.........

Editor, gomen!

~The still-blasting-the headphones-with-Mew Heiji.

Music of the Day: Mew - Symmetry

[Like obviously. And for the first time I cannot choose which song to be mentioned. =_=||]

Timeless -Part 1-

Hi. Okay. Damn this is awkward. I mean it's already mid-May and here I am writing the first post for 2011 which should had happened way back during New Year. Alas, it's been a long time coming, but I'm here now, so let's just roll things over. After all, this is the start of the long-awaited 4 month holiday, can't afford to waste time, no? Heh.

(Pathetic as it is, I realized that I finally found things to blog after I finished a story, which often is far and between, to my chagrin. D:)

So I finished a story, a LONG one-shot titled Timeless. And I better put the link first, my fingers are twitching again I'm afraid I'll start rambling no-nonsense and forgot it.

Timeless -Part 1-

In my Livejournal as usual.

I first started writing this -quite- sometime ago (understatement indeed, this) after I finished Fruits Basket manga for the nth time (really, I lost track of how many times I read it, it's just too good!) and for some reason the plot keeps expanding and changing that when I really get to it I was like "How it come to this?!" kind of feeling. Not like it is a bad thing, to get surprised by myself once in a while is awesome, IMO.

The only down side to it is took too LONG of time that when I decide on the title 'Timeless', I can't help by cringed at the irony. I mean, the story itself might took timeless of time to complete, if not for somewhat strong willpower to finish it. And I am glad I did. :)

Heck, at point of time I wrote down the ending and wrote it backwards till the climax... =_=||

The style of this is also a new type and differs from my usual style of writing. It mirrors (albeit a bit) of the three-shot 'A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer' in terms of all-over-the-place time-line (though that one's time-line is epically jumbled). I mixed the past and present time but it is not confusing, as the past is written in italic, so yeah~

So Timeless, which is actually my attempt to get back to 7 pages of MS Word for one-shot format ends up at 21 pages with 8, 513 words (during the study week no less, when I was supposed to study for the finals D:), and officially proves that the more I delayed my writing, the longer it will become due to lots of plot ideas coming and the more the relevant plot ideas inserted, the harder it is to actually stop writing.

My apparent inability to simplified the said plots are not helping either. =_=||

The first part ends at the 8/9th pages so I'm betting that this LONG one-shot will end as three-shot but Lj might hate me and say 'the post is too long' again so at most I'll end it at 5th part. Hopefully.

Do read it and give me your opinion/comments~ <3

Till then, have a nice day!

..................

Wait, isn't this kinda short? O_o??

(Apparently, a part of my mind that wants to read the just-finished-downloading Giant Killing manga -in Japanese raw no less, despite all the kanji out to burn my head- wins over the other part of my mind that wants to continue rambling no-nonsense here, so yeah.

BTW, Giant Killing is made of pure AWESOMNESS. Check out the anime and -if you are ready to face all the kanji and Nihongo- the raw manga too, for the English scanlation is barely available. Damn series needs more love! D:

Verdicts out, I'm out.)

~The-Currently-Crazy-Over-Giant-Killing Heiji

Music of the day: Sia - Breathe Me

The Sons of a Battlecry

After been gone for what, 3 months maybe (!) I'm back. Uh-huh. Before anything though, to all Muslim all over the world (I know I'm late, but hey, when have I not? Duh.) Happy Eid Fitri or formally in Malay, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir Batin. There, I said/type it. LOL. Formality aside, this post is going to be long (I hope not but knowing myself there's a lot to rant about lately *gets bricked*), so yeah~ You have been warned.

Let's start with the title post, which is a one-shot written last month and only posted now, really. There's a reason to that of course, apart from my lack of time and the suck which is the internet, but before we get to that here's the link, so that I don't forgot it. Apparently Livejournal said that the post is too long (duh!) so I had to cut it to two post instead, thus the double part. Tsk.

The Sons of a Battlecry -Part 1-

The Sons of a Battlecry -Part 2-

So, the idea on writing this story came one fine day when I was browsing aimlessly on the internet -more specifically on Livejournal- and found out that a community is organizing a writing contest with the theme 'New Beginnings'.

While I'm not one on writing with deadline -tried before for Chapter 2 and failed brilliantly-, and the last day for submitting the entry is only about 1 freaking week from the time I got to know about it, to my horror, somehow, I WANT to participate, despite the strong protest from my consciousness at the time. I mean, that was a busy period; what with assignments and what-not, heck even mid-term was not far away! But my muse was hanging at the back of my head, and keeps saying 'Why not? Just do it!' and as reckless as I am with my poor time management skill, I opened the dreadful MS Word, ready to write.

But of course, enthusiasm does not mean I have any idea what to write at the first place. *gasp* Not to mention I'm bad at theme-related works, being random and all. So, one whole day is dedicated on finding idea -not the plot, that can be damned later- and I settled on AU (why, of course), a Samurai AU. Didn't saw that coming huh? :P

The thing is I just finished the anime 'Samurai Champloo' (damn awesome anime, might blog about it later, but damn there are TOO MANY anime to blog about~! Tsk.) before that and I'm really really liking one of the main character that I modeled him in my story! It's quite obvious if you look at it actually, so yeah~ there comes my samurai one-shot.

I admit I do know much on samurai, I've read quite a number a samurai-themed manga and watched the anime for all that matter, but there is a theme, and I'm lacking a plot, which always is the death of me in writing. So I looked for prompt, which comes in the form of the 100 fic challenge I sadistically participated in, and settled on no. 64, Balance, basically because it's character-centric duh. But wait.

Samurai, New Beginning, Balance. What kind of plot can I conjure from this?! Worse, when I realize it I have about 4 days left. And I don't even start anything, yet. And it's not like I don't have anything else to do to begin with. I'm on the verge of giving up when I decided to call my 'editor', which is actually of course, my imouto, Ainin. And this conversation comes up (I always insert our conversation for some unknown reason, lol).

Me: So there's a contest in Livejournal and I think of taking part but...
Ainin: I know! Saw it too~ wait you're taking part? Great!
Me: Wait, so you know? When?
Ainin: When they first opened it of course, I'm quite a lurker in LJ recently.
Me: And you don't even TELL ME?!
Ainin: You don't ask.

Trust her to make me go headdesk all over.

Me: Next time, just tell me dammit!
Ainin: Ok. That aside, what are you writing on? Tell me the spoiler yes!!
Me: Uh...that's the problem.
Ainin: What?
Me: I don't have a plot.
Ainin:................
Me: Hello? You there?
Ainin: The deadline's here, you know.
Me: Why do you think I'm calling you for?
Ainin: *sigh*
Me: My idea consist of the theme new beginning, of course, samurai AU, and prompt balance.
Ainin:.....WHAT.

Not a good sign. Definitely not.

Ainin: How are you going to combine all that?!
Me: Any idea?
Ainin: And how do you expect me to help you at the first place?
Me: Yah! You're my editor, think of something!
Ainin: Since when am I one?!

So we had a fight, that's normal.

Ainin: Take your time, it'll not be that hard~ Good luck!

Somehow it dawn on me that I don't have my song muse with me, which can explain my off feeling this whole time. Indeed, I just look around my playlist for more muse and voila! I found a plot. And it combines them perfectly in my head. Of course, I called my 'I'm-not-your-editor' Imouto.

Me: Found the plot.
Ainin: YES!! TELL ME ABOUT IT!

And I did.

Ainin: Go for it, unnie!!

Just so you know, unnie is Korean for older sister and imouto is Japanese for younger sister. She likes Korean more than Japanese language actually, something she shares with the rest of my sisters, thanks to all the drama on tv and K-Pop; while I'm more heavily influenced by anime, though I do have my fair share of K-Pop. So yeah, we quite a multi-language speaker to each other. LOL.

Now that I have the confidence to write all the bloody thing down -I guess Ainin will continue being my editor whether she like it or not, she had a knack for good stories IMO- I started writing and damn I was halfway through when I found myself thinking 'Ah, it shouldn't be like this, maybe this way is better...'

I had only 2 days left to go. And although the dateline is something based on London time and I actually have a day extra then the stated date due to GMT and all, I don't think I can afford the risk, the internet here is unpredictable after all. Still, I scrap the whole freaking thing and start it, all over again.

I had morning class the next day -8AM Statistics lecture for 2 hours + 1 hour tutorial = death of my brain- and my self-conscious constantly reminds me that, but my fingers cannot stop typing, my muse is running 200km/h and my whole body is shaking so much I feel like my head is spinning round and round.

By the end of it all, I end up typing for 11 pages of MS Word, far exceeding the usual 7 pages for one-shot habit and send it almost instantly. The wash of relief flood me instantly and I collapse on my bed, the clock on the sidebar shows 5AM. Heck I'd been typing the whole night away!

As much as I'll be glad to do so, I didn't skip the lecture that morning, which is quite a feat in itself. I have to admit though, that I'm practically dead by afternoon onwards, heh.

And so my imouto read the contest entry, and the result is positive from her, to my relief. After that was the mid-term, submit the assignments, and there's the 2-week mid-sem break along with Raya holiday, which totally drain me away, thus the lack of writing on my part.

I didn't won anything from the contest, but I'm happy I participated in it -it's my first time entering such a contest after all- and it's surely a great experience! It helps that this is my first time exploring this style of writing and I'm glad I'm able to pull it off! If there's other contest next time I'll make it a point to enter~! If there's opportunity, time, and idea/plot that is. =_=;

I'm actually thinking of ranting on anime too as there's lots of things going on as far as the fandom goes but this is getting too long and I better stop for now. Heh.

Anyway do read the story and tell me what do you think about it! ^^

~The-Finally-Done-With-The-Post-Heiji.

Music of the Day: Radwimps - Order Made

P/S: The song that influence the plot of The Sons of a Battlecry. Try search for the lyric, this is awesome!

OT: Is currently rediscovered the love that is Natsume Yuujinchou. Midorikawa Yuki-sensei is awesome!! ^^

Mr. Broken Heart

Ahh~ I'm updating my blog, again. After finishing the Durarara!! recommendation post of doom which set the most record in my blogging life so far (the longest post written in one time -it consist of TWO long posts-, the post that took the longest time to finish -I started on 28 and 29 and only able to post them on 2 July. Yeah, I know-, the post with the most pic-spam...) I don't think I'll update my blog until I'm back in KAL, but since I updated my Livejournal with new posts, I...can't ignore the urge to post it here...yeah, I know.

But then, this might be the last post before I go back to the la-la island a.k.a Labuan or to be more specific UMS-KAL as the new semester is going to start real soon. *sigh* I want to stay at home longer~

That aside, I've updated the last part of Chapter 1, part 8, and ahh~ it really brings back memories. I mean, I wrote them all on June-July 2009 a.k.a last year! It's been one year now and I still can't get Chapter 2 going...T_T I talked with my imouto Ainin a.k.a my personal editor (sort of) on the draft I had in my head on how it's going and the reaction is positive enough. Now I have some confidence in it might start writing slowly. I don't think I can afford to delay it any longer. Just her comment is "Totally Durarara!! influence there." And I was like "Uh, yeah." Yeah, the anime is too awesome it rulez~ I'm bias yeah XD.

I'll try my best. And Ainin, thanks a zillion for lending me your ear and hear me rambling like crazy, uh. You're awesome! Never stop commenting my story, okay! XD

I spent 2 months of holiday, yeah, but I only write one story. *gets bricked* It's not my fault I have no idea, ok! T_T What with writer's block and all...*sob* And I've posted it just now too, so no blaming me okay! Now that I've posted all of my completed story, it'll be hard to see my blog updated in the future (maybe) so I want to say I'm sorry in advance...*bows* I will write more! I do! Just, give me plot. Yeah. *stab self*

Enough rambling, this is the link.

Mr. Broken Heart

On the story, this is one of the story with the least dialogue ever. I wrote this with full enthusiasm and I let Ainin a.k.a the editor/commenter to read the half-written story. And the result is something like this.

Ainin: It's ok, just, uh.
Me: What?
Ainin: I don't know...
Me: Just tell, dammit!
Ainin: It's kind of boring...

I swear if this scene is in an anime, the character (me) already got arrows stab into the heart.

Me:...what. Because too much description?
Ainin: *nod*
Me: Great.

Cue big rock fall on the character's head.

Me: Do you read them all? Do you understand what it's about?
Ainin: Uh..just the first part...? It's getting quite...complicated...sorry~

That night, I edit more than 60% of the now-become-draft story, and start spamming my fb wall for a couple of days. When I start writing again, the muse is running 160km/s and I found myself cannot stop writing at all until I finish it completely. I have to admit I'm confident with how it goes but then, if Ainin said it's boring, again, I may be throwing myself into the sea or something.

Me:...so..how is it...?
Ainin: *smile*
Me: Uh-huh.
Ainin: This is Good!! I totally don't expect that. *thumbs-up*

Cue confetti and spotlight on the character.

To be frank, I don't know how I got that ending either, so it's a bonus somehow~

I gain enough confidence to start a new story right after but then, the last episode of Durarara!! came out and my mind totally took a 180 degree turn there. I spazzes over the anime like what and cannot stop fan-girling and when I come to my muse already pack up the bags and leave to a vacation in Ikebukuro. Yeah. And leaving me with no idea at all for a plot or whatever. *sigh*

Anyway, I rambles a lot for now and my inbox is piling up with mails and whatnot I might as well clear them up. Do read the story and tell me what do you think of it! ^^

Music of the Day: One Ok Rock -Liar

P/S: Might stop the recommendation a.k.a fan-girling of the song. Somehow not in the mood for it anymore. *gasp*

~The-stiff-shoulder-somehow-I-don't-even-know-why-it-happen-Heiji

Articulating Irony Forgotten

I am happy, like seriously happy. Why? because the one-shot that I mentioned on last post is already FINISHED!! \o/ *cheers* I had a hard time finishing it (despite the muse hanging about, and heck, when I finished it and ready to celebrate -sort of- the door opened by itself, along with the sound effect and whatnot...how is that?!) and end up spamming my fb wall lately. =_=|| Even so, now, I can proudly say, that I wrote something this holiday! Yay~~~

To commemorate with that (of course), I decided to update the blogs! I posted up Part 7 of Chapter 1 (I really have to get Chapter 2 moving...T_T) and a one-shot;

Articulating Irony Forgotten

This one-shot is actually a somewhat (long) epilogue to The Incessant Restriction of Catharsis, and might be a bit confusing (=_=) so it's best if you read the first installment before you read this~ ^^

About the recently finished one-shot...I'll post that one later~ *gets bricked*

Now, since the muse is still around, what should I write next...? Do give any prompt, idea, heck even plot if you like! It'll be great to hear what do you like for me to try! ^^

Oh, no romantic story please. Angst is the ultimate forte here~ LOL. :P

Do let me know what do you think on it! ^^

Music of the Day: Theatre Brook -Mirai wo Ima

P/S: A couple song in the Durarara!! OP single 'Uragiri no Yuuyake' by Theatre Brook, which I love love love the song (and the anime, but that's a whole different story altogether) very much due to the catchy crazy beat!

In contrast to that, 'Mirai wo Ima' is slower and the beat is a tad simpler compare to 'Uragiri no Yuuyake' and this gives a balance to the whole single. The vocal compliments the song and the long song (It's 6 min!) gives the chance to enjoy the instrumental aspect of the song, which is great! You can hear the many sounds of guitar, and the drum beat comes in at the right time, and GUH, it's awesome. Do check it out! ^^

On a side note, my P/S section tends to get longer than the original post and that, is BAD. I'll try to reduce the amount of fangirling...-_-;

~The-accomplished-and-satisfied-and-happy-Heiji.

A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 3-III- [The life we had won't be ours again]

As promised, I updated my blog (hahaha) and of course, along with my Livejournal as well. Just now, I post up Chapter 1 Part 6 and as the title says, another part of THE 3-shot

A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 3-III- [The life we had won't be ours again]

...or rather the FINAL part of THE 3-shot.

Yes! It's the END (like finally)!! And as much as I'm happy about it there's still a tad melancholy feeling~ I mean, it's been a long time! The long journey, is, over. Still, this means a new journey of writing is set, no? ^^ Special thanks to Nazo, Saise/Kimmy Ai, Didy and my imouto Ainin for the enormous support and not giving up on this lazy writer and bugging me till I finish this xD

On the story, this is the first time I'm writing a 3-shot, usually I just end it quickly as one-shot I'm lazy like that or end up writing too much like Literally, but that's a different story, of course. What makes this more special is, I, at one point, always plan out the ending, regardless of how the story is, the ending is usually fixed thus the cliffhanger and whatnot but somehow, I can't seem to able to do same with this one. I have to admit even I am surprised with how it turns out to be, and I'm super satisfied with it, especially when I can include a lot of song lyrics in certain parts. Heck, I have a special playlist just for this! xD

I actually plan on posting other one-shot, but after a few contemplating with one another, I decided to go with this one. Besides, I don't think I can handle the wrath of people if I keep on delaying this, right? xD

Also, *drum-rolls* the REAL reason I'm posting this is to commemorate with my success in killing off the writer's block demon! Hahaha~ *evil laugh* I manage to write 767 words (I deliberately check this *gets bricked*) last night (which is A LOT for somebody who can hardly write 1 sentence before) and if my plan goes well and muse stays around this time, I might finish a one-shot before holiday ends! Yay~! I have high anticipation on this piece, maybe because I play around with styles, again so yeah~

On the side note, this will put Chapter 2 on hold so just kill me, my muse for that one had gone off for vacation in Tokyo, I think, darn it!

Back to the story, for this is what this post a meant to after all, thanks a lot for following this till the end with me, your support and encouragement, I'll held them dear forever! I'm really, really glad with this but then this is worthless if there's nobody reading it, so finally, thanks a lot to YOU who reads this! I'll try my best in my next stories so do continue take care of me. Thanks! *bows*

Do tell what is your feeling and take on this. It'll be great to hear from you! ^^

Music of the Day: Anzenchitai -Aoi Bara

P/S: I flail over this song to my friends on fb and am glad that they like it, so think it'll be great to say about it here, too! Though it's kind of ironic when the post above is damn happy and this is a sad song...(^^);

I first saw the pv on Channel V (in which Astro had remove from their program in favor to some FOX channel, to my uber disappointment. I mean, that's one of my fav channel, why do you have to take it off, WHY?!) and my first thought is "I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD THIS". Well, that pretty much sums things up, no?

The song is awesome, what with the guitar and all, and the pv is damn cool. The blue black scenes (Oh how I LOVE that) and some inserts of blue rose (Aoi Bara means Blue Rose, Aoi=Blue and Bara=Rose) compliments the atmosphere perfectly. Also, the lyrics. I don't know what is it really mean, I can make up it's a sad song from the words 'kanashii' and 'sabishii' along with 'nanimo' which typically screams sadness but even if you don't understand it, you can hear the sadness seeps in the flow of the song and the vocal. It's freaking awesome.

The band, which is the first time I heard about it, debuted almost 30 years ago (!!) and the members were all born on 50's. They reach the peak of their popularity on 80's-90's (I don't even born yet) and been on hiatus till they make a comeback with this single. Heck, the single debut on Top 10 Oricon weekly Chart straight away! (Wikipedia does wonders).

If you're looking for a song with pure music, amazing guitar riffs and all, this is perfect. You'll love it, damn sure. Speaking by experience here, after all~ :)

Going to download the pv later. xD

~The-Pumped-up-Heiji.

One.

It's June, a.k.a the second month of holiday. But I don't update my blog that much, huh? *gets bricked* Somehow I'm too lazy to do so...heck, I don't even write anything! *gasp* There's one that is under construction and I'm determined enough to complete it! The bad thing is it'll put Chapter 2 on hold. Kill me now, people~ *stab*

Either way, I've posted a new one-shot on Livejournal just now. The title is, like the one above obviously,

One

I wrote this when my laptop was sent to repair before and I play around with the style, which is numbering instead of the usual. Have to say I'm glad with how it turn out to be! ^^ Also, now that I think about it, I tend to change my style A LOT these days, numbering, days, parts, etc. The one I'm currently working also got different style (not telling~). I guess it appeals to me much? xD

I guess it give me some sort of versatile in writing, which I'm glad.

Contrary to the usual 3-posts-in-one-go format I commonly use when it comes to Livejournal, I just posted once, which is kind of weird to me. Ironically the title is One LOL. I'll posting more after this, no worries, it's just me being kind of lazy (when are you not? Duh) today and maybe I'm just not in the mood? Hmm~

Either way, I WILL post more before the end of June and the semester opens (No~~~) so do expect it! ^^

Have a good day, people~

Music of the Day: Matsushita Yuya -Mr. Broken Heart

P/S: The couple song to his first single 'Foolish Foolish', Mr. Broken Heart is currently on a constant repeat in my player. It's awesome!! The soothing voice of Yuya-san and the fast piano along with the beat of the melody compliments each other well! I don't have it on my playlist (I have the urge to take it off, somehow, it troubles me a lot these days, to my annoyance) as it's hard to find the song on YouTube. I wonder why?

This song is also the OST for a film 'Kanashii Boyfriend', in which Yuya-san himself acts in as the younger version of the main character. You can hear a snippet of it on the film trailer! I've been dying to get my hands on the film, thus developing my Google-ing skills and discovers the wonders which is torrent at the same time. Now I can find almost anything I want easily than before, except for this film, of course, talk about irony. Anybody know where to find this, please help! T_T

On the singer, people might recognize Yuya-san from the song 'Trust Me', which is the first ending song for the best, awesome anime 2010 Durarara!! (I'm bias ignore me xD) Yuya-san just release his first album recently (which is safe downloaded in my disk LOL) and have to say I'm impressed a whole lot by his talent. Can't wait to see what he may bring to us next! ^^

~The-somehow-got-a-mixed-feeling-or-just-being-blur-atm-Heiji

Duh.

A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 3-II [The time we've lost can't get back]-

Ah~! Finally I updated my blogs! It feels like ages since I last do so~

It is now holiday and when I think about it there are just soooooooo many things to do! Updating the blog, writing posts, finishing Chapter 2 (I already started it! Really!), watching all the shows and animes, ah~~ what to do? Duh.

Either way, I've posted up many things on Livejournal just now! A new part for Chapter 1 (already posted here) and a one-shot (which also had posted here before) and the next part of the three-shot A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer (wow, I just type down the LONG title!) This is the second part before the ultimate ending of it (heh~) and one of the fastest part I wrote, technically LOL.

So here's the link~ ^^

A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 3-II [The time we've lost can't get back]

I've also done the master lists for the stories (just look at the master lists at the above posts, I deliberately change the date to ten years in the future -wow- just to make it stay there LOL) so you might want to check it out too. Bear in mind the parts for Literally Chapter 1 are still not yet posted all there~ ^^

Enjoy the story and tell me what do you feel about it! Comments are love~ *wink*

Music of the Day: Seo Taiji -T'ik T'ak

P/S: I FREAKING LOVE THIS SONG, PERIOD. Seo Taiji is the man dubbed the 'grandfather' of KPop due to his infuence in the industry. And I heard his name before but not really have a chance to listen to it until I (somehow) downloaded the mv to this and OH. GOD. It's rock (which no doubt always easier to accept with less doubt to my ears compare to other genres) and there's a mix of instrumental (piano and some violin?) along the melody, which is a combination of awesomeness, no doubt. I always love it when a song has many types of genres and instrumentals, it makes it more lively (remember Outsider? That guy just raps for God's sake).

Back to the song, the mv has a sci-fi theme to it (I swear I saw the famous eye-on-the-mask from the manga 20th Century Boys there, this song is the Movie Version's soundtrack or something?) and the camera work when they focus on the band and Taiji himself is superb. His voice is not all raw like Gackt yet it suits the whole song perfectly and yes, he rocks! He even looks younger his age (not telling the number, try guess~). The band is awesome too (check out the keyboardist, I gasp looking at the way he plays).

All in all, this song is superb and if you like rock, this is perfect. I still have in on repeat since last night, mind you. And while you're at it check out the orchestra symphony performance of the song too. Seo Taiji held a concert where he collaborated with Royal Philharmonic Orchestra and OH.MY.GOD it gives me goosebumps, really. This guy is genius, hands down.

I have both the mv and the orchestra performance in my playlist, so do check it out~!! ^^

Now, this is long...*sigh*

~The-too-excited-promoting Heiji (duh.)

A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 3-I and The Incessant Restriction of Catharsis

It's been awhile, but then, what can I say? And the title is a bit...long? LOL.

Just like what I've mentioned on the last post, I've decided to post my stories on Livejournal ONLY, giving that Blogspot hates me to the core when it comes to my stories, much to my dismay.

But don't worry, I'll post the link to it here, and no, I'm not going to abandon this blog. Livejournal is strict to my writing, and writing only. I still going to rant once in awhile here~ LOL.

It feels a bit sad thinking the posts here after this will not be as long as before (I realized my friends' post here in blogspot gets shorter by time, I wonder why?) now that there are no more stories, but I'm assured that it is better this way. It took me less than an hour (heck less than half an hour maybe?) to post 3 stories all in one go, and have to admit I'm really happy with it. Even the stories come out more organized and neater to my liking~

I don't lock my posts (they have that function there, mind you) so don't worry of not having an account. You can still view and leave comments there (as anonymous maybe, I'm not really clear about that. Do leave your name if you leave it as anonymous so I can know who you are~) which is of course, highly appreciated~

So far, there are some one-shots that available here and not there but I planned to posts it all there, along with the further installments. I don't plan on deleting the stories here though, so don't worry.

The cuts on Literally -Chapter 1 is the same here and there and I don't finish posting it up there yet. I suggests you to read at Livejournal more as it's clearer and I have some sort of format set up there, like the addition of Summary, rating, and all. But then, it's finished here already and no, I don't edit the stories there, it's still the same~ Just some format. ^^

Basically I'm rambling too much here now, perhaps...

The updates is A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 3-I [The world we knew won't come back]-, which is, of course, the next update of the damn long three-shot. If you're wondering about the Part 3-I, read the A/N there. Haha~! Kill me, I know you want to. LOL.

Also, a new one-shot I wrote while in the midst of finishing the three-shot (pardon my laziness to type out the LONG title, why do I have to make it THAT long?), The Incessant Restriction of Catharsis. I love beautiful words, and might had accidentally abuse that liking in naming this story, which comes in a spur of the moment, really. Heck, everything about that story is on-spot idea, with no planning whatsoever, to my horror! LOL.

Hope that you enjoy the stories and leave some comments! It's okay to leave it here too, like Livejournal (as there might be people who are not sure) you can comment as anonymous but leave your name so I can identify who you are~ ^^

Oh! The comment section is the Secret Shelter, named after my favorite songs, LOL.

EDIT: Labeling this as One Shot Essay due to the links provided, and I'm Soooooo Random because, well, I am random, no? LOL.

Till then, ja ne~ Going to study for mid-term later...T_T

Music of the Day: Gackt-Redemption

P/S: A J-Rock from the oh-so-awesome Gackt. Heard about him earlier than TVXQ actually but never really got around to listen to his songs and Oh. God. It's damn rock! He's voice singing live (Japanese singers don't really do lip-syncing as far as I'm concern) is darn rocking (try watch his MKMF 2007 performance, that's where I first heard him anyway, heck even Heechul got his jaw dropping if you realize)! This song reveal the power in his voice and if you love Rock at its best like me, you'll love this, hands down.

In my playlist as per usual. Do I really have to mention this anytime I wonder? LOL.

~The-quite-blur-and-blank-at-the-moment Heiji.

P/S: Must be the aftereffect of turning 20...yes, that must be it~

There's some interesting things going on that day, and thanks (again) for the people who make it a damn memorable day to remember. Guys, you're darn awesome~

Post about it? Nah, it's too long already...better keep it in memory~ ^^

A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 2-

First of all, (this is late...) Happy Chinese New Year~ it's been too LONG since I last post something, no? Can't help it...the assignments are practically killing...T_T

Also, it is now a one-week break for CNY and UMS-KAL is dead. I mean it, dead. It's so quiet, and lack of people and I'm bored as hell! Luckily the writer's block demon haunting had long gone and I spent my days writing and finishing assignments and memorizing katakana...which is almost perfect in my head by now~

Either way, just like the title of this post clearly says, this is the second part of the story! I had already finished this three-shot and the only thing left is to post it...so expect more update in the near future~ ^^

Comments are love as usual~ ^^


A BUTTERFLY, A LOUVRE, AND (NOT) A FREER

Part 2

Halo- The calling of yesterday’s memory
From a locked louvre of the heart

We can’t go back that time

Or how we were

Day 1
They are the best of friends; the three of them are always together, inseparable. It is a fact that even the dumbest person on earth can figure out. He is always Black, and then there are Blue and White. Blue loves questions and always asks, curious with everything in the world, like a wide blue sky looking down, stretching to almost everything, never ending thirst for space. White loves answering Blue’s questions in the most indirect way as possible, humorous and in style, like white clouds forming in between, randomly shape and indefinite, never ending shield of warm. He loves watching the two, never taking sides, for he knows he just simply cannot choose and influence them, so he just stay at bay, remain invisible. He is Black, like dark clouds that angers with rain, engulfing the white ones, or night that coats the world with nothingness, swallow the peaceful blue away. He knows black steals and eats all the other colors effortlessly, and he knows he wants a beautiful sky, so he is content by being the third wheel, expressing his gratitude by sketching them on his canvas or playing melodious piano pieces he picks up here and there somewhere along the way.

He looks at them from behind his canvas, sketching, and the other two just lazily lay down on their backs, side by side, whispering sacred secrets that are loud enough for him to hear.

“How do you know...?”

White will just shrug it off, and gives off a knowing smile. They can tell each other’s feelings just by a mere look on the eye. The puzzled look dispersed into thin air, replaced by a bright smile. It is always like that between the two, and he thought it will never change. Not in a chance.

Day -1000

There is a sound of piano drifting in the air, slow, yet haunting, painful to the ears. He knew the song well. It was the first piece he learned in his life, and that was so long ago.

“Do you remember when this song...?”

White will just smiles a bit, and gives off the apologetic face. It is understandable. He can hardly remember it himself. There is a nod, saying it is ok, yet a bit frown formed on the face. A smack on the arm, a small hug, and the frown dispersed into thin air, replaced by a bright smile. It is always like that between the two, and he thought it will never change. Not in a chance.

Day -864

It is a happy day. It should be, for it is the start of the new term. But somehow it is raining, so hard he can see nothing but black. The sky disappears, taking Blue and White with it. Gone. Accidents, they say, hit-and-run by a runaway convict on their way to school, hands still linked together.

He did not buy any of it.

Day -857

He plays the piano piece in silence for the both of them, for the last time, on their funeral. From the corner of his eyes, he can see people crying harder than before he plays. His teacher was confused why he learned such a sad song at the beginning of the piano lesson, long time ago. He never recalls the reason he gave her, but he do remember her telling him the title of it.

“It’s called ‘Requiem for the Sky’.”

He can never agree more.

Day -850

He closes the piano lid, leaves with it his bag that is full with canvas, sketches of them, and walks off. He wants to leave it all there, his memories, his past, his life with them. And leave it he did. He never looks nor turns back, even as he closes the door of the room. The sound of the door shut echoes along the hallway before it slowly fades away, and become silence once again, like the sound never even existed at the first place. He walks away feeling nothing but numb. Surprisingly, even to him, there is no single tear coming out.

Once he gets home, he locks himself up in his room, and gathers up his belongings into one small backpack, not like he has many things to own to begin with, and walks out slowly when the clock strike past midnight long ago, assuring that everybody is already asleep, not even bother to say goodbye. He is an outcast even among his family, and he never really gets along with his many brothers and sisters, for they often have this kind of disgust in their eyes when they looked at him, though he does not know any reason why. He knew he is an adopted son, he accidentally eavesdropped his parents conversation some time ago, and he take it that his family never really want him at the very first place, like he does not really belong there. He never confronted them about it, and he doubt it if they ever knew that he knew the truth. Still, to him it does not really matter. He already told his mother that he will move out one day, and already took up part-time jobs to support himself. Although he never told her when, she did not really opposed the idea, so he take it as an okay. He leaves a letter along with some money from his salary that he specifically saved to give them, indicating that he is leaving and thanks them profusely for taking care of him. He knows that he is not a really good son and even though he knows that they do not really love him like other parents and family would, he is still well-cared and not bullied like some other Cinderella story, and he is thankful enough for that.

He reaches the front gate when he feels like somebody is staring at him, quick on reflexes he is, he turns around, facing the house, and looks at the windows. He swears there is some kind of a silhouette at the left window upstairs, hiding behind the curtains, not wanting to be seen. He does not really want to know who it is, not like he really cares, so he simply walks out and closes the gate as quiet as he could. The shadow is still there, peeping through the opening of the curtains. He looks up to the house again, walking a few steps backwards, and he does not know whether he will miss this place. He does not really feel melancholy or sad, and he is always dubbed as a robot, due to his lack of expressing emotion to others. He keeps things to himself, and do not open up to people easily. Being secretive makes him feel safe somehow, and he likes himself the way he is, regardless of negative opinions he receives from others because of that cold personality of his.

He takes a deep breath, clutching his backpack tight, and bows to the house, as an express of gratitude for everything. He knows the person at the window will see, and he does not mind at all. He knows that it is rather unlikely for him to return back here, and he also knows that he might not come back at all. To him, this is farewell, for good. He straightens himself up, turns around, and starts walking away. He can feel the stare at his back, but he does not turn around this time. He just focuses to the street in front him, to the places he might be, the possibilities of everything in his new profound life. He does not want to remember anything from before, and he is confident enough that he will be fine, no matter what will happen after this. Thus, he keeps on moving, ignoring any sound that can be heard from behind him. He thinks that he can hear some sort of whisper calling him, and considering the fact that there is no one around, he figures it must be him. Still, he ignores them altogether, and forbidden himself from stop and look back, for he fears he might not be able to move forward again. So he closes his heart, his ears, his mind, and walks off, never looking back.

He never did.

Day -753

He listens to the class president’s explanation on the school while looking around; making a mental note on the hallway so that he will not find himself lost later. He somehow have a feeling he will like it here, his previous school did not held much memory for him to remember, or rather, did not left much significant meaning to him. It is just his first day here yet he feels quite content with the surroundings. He must say this school is beautiful, the landscape and all is organized in a unique way. Upon reaching the staff’s room, the class president excuses himself to go back to class, now that his job to show him around is done. He nods in acknowledgement and watch the retreating back of the boy. The class president is indeed a responsible person. He can tell by the way the boy walks; he gives off some kind of authority aura with every step he takes, and he makes it a point to remember the boy’s name for future reference, just in case something happens.

He enters the staff’s room and finds his homeroom teacher talking to another teacher at the corner of the room. He walks slowly towards both teachers and he gets himself a smile of acknowledgement from both men as they saw him approaching. He smiles back, politely. His homeroom teacher starts filling him with the school rules, activities, and so much more until the other teacher who had been there the whole time interrupts upon reaching the co-curriculum subjects.

“Say, I’m quite sure the other clubs are full already, but there are still vacancies for these two clubs, I daresay. One is the Arts Club, which I am the advisor, and the other being the Music Club, I heard they are short of people on piano class. You can choose one, it is not necessary for you to actually know how to draw or play the piano, really. They can teach you from the very simple basic, though I have the feeling that you might just not need it.”

The Arts teacher smiles knowingly, his eyes never leaving his.

“Somehow, I can almost see it in you.”

Day -832

“You have a hand of an artistic person.”

He raises a brow on that remark, the old woman beside him still have her gaze fixed on his hands on his lap, before she take his left hand in hers, admiring his long slender fingers against her rough and wrinkled one. Each line tells a story, he thinks, as he traces them with his eyes, absorbing the little warmth from the stranger he wishes he knows better. They are at the railway station; he waits for the next train to board and leave while she waits for the next train to bring a person back home. She does not say specifically the relation and he does not think it have anything to do with him either so he does not ask.

“I believe you played an instrument, or good in painting, am I right?”

He almost chokes on air and looks up as she smiles at him, her eyes tells him that she knows, and the firm squeeze on the hand assures him that it is useless to try lying. He exhales, thinking of an answer when an announcement fills the air; the train they are waiting is here. Spontaneously, both of them stands up, hands still clasped together. He picks up his backpack and slung it to his right shoulder, still thinking of the right words to say, but disappointedly finds none. He blames it on his poor brain; he is no good with words anyway. Looking into her eyes though, reminds him of them whenever they heard his piano, or steal glances on his canvas, and it hurts, so much, he ends up telling her without thinking.

“I did piano, and draw occasionally, but I’m dropping them now."

People starts to flood around them and she lets go of his hand, not before giving him a hug, and whispers in his ears.

“Don’t do things half-heartedly, or you’ll regret it.”

He shook his head.

“I won’t. I’ll let go, both of them.”

Day -753

He stays still. It is necessary for a student to participate in extracurricular activities and be a member of one club, meaning he has to choose between the two things he wants to avoid most, for he does not want to remember. He can feel himself torn for him rather not draw and play the piano anymore than to choose just one.

“You don’t have to choose now, you see. I think it is best if you choose the one that will make you enjoy your time and be happy.”

The Arts teacher smiles again and he nods, the teacher is right. He closes his eyes and exhales deep, confirming his decision.

Day -832

“Why don’t you choose one? It’ll be hard to let go of both things at the same time.”

He remains silent. It is hard, he knows it.

“Choose one. It’ll be a pity if you don’t. You’re too young to give things up.”

The look on her face gives off an indescribable feeling and he somehow has the urge to capture it on his drawing, much to his own amusement. And maybe, just maybe, he thinks, he can still draw.

“Maybe, I’ll draw, only if I have to choose.”

Her smile is calming and bright it almost blinds him.

“That’s good. Don’t give up too much, like me. I have nothing now, nothing to call mine, no one to come back.”

The siren fills up the air, and he feels heavy in the heart. Tears are threatening to come out from her eyes, and he realizes, no matter how much she waits, it will be all in vain.

“They are not going to come back, once you let go.”

It is only until her goodbye wave is no longer visible to him that he realizes that he has been holding back his breath, and tears.

Day -753

“I’ll join the Arts Club, teacher. Besides, I really like this school’s landscape and garden, I think I can sketch many things here. I’m...not really interested in piano anyway.”

Both teacher smiles now and he knows he does the right thing. He even shocks himself to be able to come up with a decision this quick. The Arts teacher quickly briefs him on the club’s information and he finds himself eager to start sketching. He consciously reminding himself that he will have more fun now as he walks back to the class, and upon passing by the Music Club room, he deliberately closes himself up, his ears, his mind, and his heart, something he gradually becomes good at since the night he left his home, so that he will not hear the sound of piano playing or even see the sight of a piano in the slightly opened door of the room. He figures out that he is getting better in controlling himself and he cannot help but thinking that maybe, just maybe, he is a robot now rather than a human.

He sits down on the bench, opens the lid, and plays piece after piece, until his fingers goes numb, his mind goes blank, and hears nothing but the sound of his heart breaking. He keeps on asking himself, why, why did I fall in love with you? With Blue, with White, with piano, with canvas, sketches, sky. He wants answers to why it has to happen. He always thought, no matter how much time passed, they will always be here. But somehow, they have to choose a different road, and he is left with nothing to call his own.

He never feels confident with himself, and he has close to zero friends save for the two people that is always stuck to him like glue. He takes up piano seriously and take lessons because both Blue and White loves it when he hums make up melodies in his head, going as far as persuading him to think that he have talent in it, which proves to be true, but he never plays for anybody but them. Along the way he starts sketching because that is the only thing he can do better than White who sucks in Arts, and Blue just love the flustered face of others, especially White upon seeing his sketches displayed by the teacher. Now that his sky is no longer clear and will never be the same again, he lost the very reason to smile. He realizes that he depends on the two a bit too much, yet he just cannot help it. Not when there is no else in the world that truly cares about him.

A string of melody escapes his lips just when he is about to stop playing, his fingers hanging mid-air. There is a weird sensation about the sound but he cannot quite put a finger on it. Just like that, the words begin to overflow, so as his tears, as the rhythm fills him up. Mumbles of apologies, what-ifs-and-why-not, all makes its way out of him. When he lost count of what to say, he plays the melody, feeling himself lifted, filled with emotions, and stops with the last drop of tears hitting the key.

The silence hits him back to reality, and for the first time in his life, he feels satisfied, numb. He throws everything out of him, his tears, his regrets, his melodies; he is left with nothing now. Smiling a bit to no one but him, he stands up; closing the lid, thinking this is it, the end. He plays too much now and he thinks that maybe, no, sure now he can stops playing, like a person doing one thing a bit too much he gets bored and leaves it altogether.

He can forget everything, now. He is letting it go.

Day -753

The moment he picks up his tools later that day; the canvas, pencils, erasers, and all, he feels new again. He starts sketching the fountain at the center of the school’s landscape and much to his own amusement; he does a great job with it. He literally forgotten the piano, and anything, everything associates with it.

Day 54

There he is, as always, at his spot at the corner of the rooftop, sketching. He has his eyes closed, and the sight makes her confident that he is the one. There is no mistaking it, this guy never really changed after all, just like how she remembered him years ago. She walks slowly, does not want to disturb him.

She hears him humming the tune, and she stops abruptly, stepping on the floor a bit too hard in the process, and shock the hell out of him. His eyes widen in surprise for seeing her there and that is when she realizes that she does not know what to do. She wants to talk to him but she knows he would not open up to her easily just because she knew. They were never close or something at the first place, and she does not want to scare him away. So she does the next best thing, she smiles.

“The tune...is it from a song? It’s...beautiful.”

He eyes her upon hearing that and she mentally kicked herself for asking. She does not sure whether he remembered her or not and apparently he looks troubled by the question, as he darted his eyes back to the canvas, which makes her feeling worse than before. He puts the canvas down beside him and sits down, motioning to her to do the same. As he leans back against the wall, he turns to her, asking.

“Would you mind listen to this?”

She nods and he talks. About the white presence, the tune, the angelic smile, everything. When he finishes it all, she finds herself numb. It might be her luck, for she manages to figure out everything, now that she put two and two together, but still, it hurts.

She smiles and thanks him for telling her the out-of-the-body experience, before runs off towards the door. She might hurt him by doing so, but she cannot help herself, for she does not want him to see her crying. He does not remember her, not that it is important. The problem is he does not remember anything anymore. As if the he that she knew does not even existed, and it hurts her badly. He does not know the tune, does not remember playing it, does not remember creating it, and does not remember that he is the one writing the magical tune before the disaster happen.

She realizes now, that he never even touches a piano, let alone play again ever since.

EDIT: I hate blogspot. It took me damn LONG to edit almost EVERYTHING that I copied from Word (which makes up almost 90% of this post I daresay). At least Livejournal is a tad easier to use and less edit-needed.

I might post my stories on Livejournal ONLY (in huge consideration now) and post the links to it here. Still, it's just a plan of mine. Bear in mind that the possibility is as high as 85% now though.

Music of the Day: 4men- Baby Baby

P/S: This song is damn AWESOME. If you're in for R&B acapella style of song, this is perfect for you! The vocal is extremely good and soothing and it's sad to see that this group is so underrated...they need more exposure! Either way, try listen to this one in my playlist as per usual and judge them yourself! I have a perfect solid 10 for this~ ^^

Oh! This song is Korean btw~

~The Bored Heiji
EDIT: ~The Damn-Frustrated Heiji

EDITED: A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 1-

Hi! Ok, basically this post is just me trying to make sure my story is posted with the right format like I want...I found some solutions from this page and this page, which I found while nosing around this blog...you can click the link at my blog list too...they really have awesome stuffs for blogger there! Though when I think about it, I can't seem to remember how or why I put it there at first place...but now I'm glad I did whatever the reason was! ^^

So, here is the edited one of the first part of the three-shot...hope it'll be okay!

EDIT: I break my back to find the perfect solution and apparently my blog hates me too much to do so...I end up editing it ALL OVER AGAIN MYSELF AFTER WASTING A FREAKING 2 HOURS SEARCHING...so you can imagine my current mental state now...also, this is quite unlikely of me (when it comes to computers and stuffs)...but I think I'll give up...apparently there are some people who have the same problem as me and somehow that makes me (a bit?) okay in the inside...I won't bother anymore...really...but if you know and can help me...please do tell! Thanks~

P/S: Apparently I've discovered the 'compose' function (really, I'm lame, I know) when editing and messing around so somehow I did know/learn something out of all this...guess it's not that bad...perhaps...

*too lazy/mad for emoticon in this post...might change the template too...expect a new/simpler look for my blog...my sister's been complaining about the colour..T_T*

Here's the story~

A BUTTERFLY, A LOUVRE, AND (NOT) A FREER

Part 1

Bolero- The whisper of yesterday’s fantasy
In a form of a grey butterfly

On the floating darkness of the moon’s stage

I saw you dancing in my dreams

Day 1

It was a dream.

He does not quite sure at first, but when his History teacher kicks him out of the class it becomes clear enough for him to understand. Still, even after standing outside for almost one hour period he can still hear whispers of the soft melody in his ears. He blames it on the loud speaker his roommate ‘accidentally’ put beside his ears this morning; in an attempt to wake him up, or so he said.

He did not buy any of it.


Day 27

The air buzzes with excitement; a new student is coming, or so they said. He does not bother, just shrug it off and immediately falls asleep the moment his head touches the desk. He wakes up with a jolt when his Math teacher screams her lungs out and he is kicked out of the class, again. He feels his body burns like fire and he might just catch a fever. Still, he stands there like nothing happens, an angelic smile etched in his brain along with the beautiful melody from what he assumes as the dream like before. When he collapsed later and found himself in the nurse’s office he blames it on the insomnia he suffered the past few days, though the nurse simply said he sleeps too much.

He did not buy any of it.


Day 46

The whole class let out a frustrated groan when the Arts teacher announced the theme of the next project, humans; as in your own partner. He is truly awake now, Arts is his favorite and perhaps his best subject; although some may say that he still look half-sleepy. He blames it on his droopy eyes but he is not one to care much about other’s opinion on him, so he drops the blame off. Besides, he likes his eyes the way it is. Throwing his glance out of the window, he starts scribbling randomly on the canvas. The odd number of students in the class leaves him with no partner to begin with, not like he cares anyway. Everybody starts moving around and discussing the project when he suddenly feels a presence behind him. He turns just in time to catch all eyes on him, especially the guys, much to his dismay. He do not speak much in class, the odd one out after all, and heck he do not even knows the name of his classmate save for the class president! Ignoring them altogether he turns to the person behind him, a girl, with a beautiful smile and silky long blonde hair.

“The teacher says that you will be my partner. May I sit here?”


Day 27

“Class, this is your new classmate, please be nice to her, ok?”

The boys are all nodding enthusiastically, hearts forming in their eyes, much to the annoyance of the girls. The new girl smiles warmly, eyeing her new classmates and notices a boy sleeping at the far end of the row seat, next to the window. She takes a seat at the back, an empty seat separating her and the sleeping boy. Her warm and kind nature won the hearts of the girls and she even find lots of new friends in her first day. By the end of the day, she gets to know the name of everybody in the class and befriend them but the sleeping boy who happens to collapse after standing for two hours outside of the class as detention for sleeping.


Day 46

He eyes her with a confused look in the face. He is absolutely sure that he does not have a partner but then again he might be wrong somehow, he never notices his surroundings after all. He remembered before that they got themselves a new student but he did not quite sure which one is it. Shrugging his messy thought off he just nods and the girl sits beside him, still smiling. He nods in acknowledgement; he does not interact much with people, let alone girls, and turns to focus on his canvas again, putting a new one to get ready for the project. He can feel intense stares from his classmates, mostly from the boys, for this girl is indeed pretty. Perhaps they are jealous of him for being able to have her as a partner, not like he really cares.

“So, who should start draw first?”
“I don’t mine.”
“Then, can I start?”

He simply nods and is about to stand when she stops him.

“Just stay like that, its fine already. I can draw best from a person’s side rather than in front.”

He sits again as she turns to face him, her canvas between them and starts drawing. He throws his glance out again and starts sketching. Deep inside he feels glad that he do not have to face her, for it will be awkward enough for him. Still, even in this position he feels bad already as he can feel her eyes on him. Focusing on the sketch he pretends like his alone, like she is not there at the first place.


Day 47

She enters the supposed-to-be-empty class to find her Arts partner sleeping on his seat. The head on the desk, both arms act as a pillow, the body touches the wall, as the face turns to his right, meaning he faces the class. The ray of sunlight shines in through the window and hits his body. She finds it a beautiful sight. Taking her seat like before, she pulls out her canvas, and starts to draw.


Day 53

“I finished my sketch so it should be your turn now.”
“Ok.”

He nods. She turns and makes her way to the door before she turns once again.

“Are you sure you only need my picture? We can arrange some time, I’ll be glad to help. You’re my partner after all.”

He just shook his head and smiles a bit, meaning it’s more than enough already. She nods and starts moving again.

“Good luck!”

He nods as the door closes. He attaches the full-body picture of her on top-left of his canvas, closes his eyes, hums the unknown melody and starts sketching.


Day 35

He stands there, at the rooftop. There is no one around for it is actually class time. If he is a studious student he will be in class paying attention to Biology right now, but apparently he is not so he skipped the class instead. He always sucks at Biology anyway, and somehow he is just not in the mood. He closes his eyes, feeling the wind, and he hums the beautiful melody. Somehow, he knows it by heart already. Anybody would, he thinks, when there’s nothing you can hear but the melody whenever you closes your eyes. He calls it a dream, but it’s not like he sleeps every time. Well most of the time he did but this is different. He tries to understand further but he finds himself lost track of the melody and it irritates him somehow as his head starts to hurt. He is not a bright one in thinking after all so he decides to drop it off.


Day 50

He closes his eyes, relaxing himself. Soon enough he is overwhelm with the melody, lifting him up, crushing into the sky. He can barely feel the ground beneath him. The first few times it happened he think about it too much he developed a massive headache he thought he was going to die. But as time passes by he slowly adapt to the situation and somehow, he likes it. He no longer wants to analyze or try to fight it. He does not even care if it makes no sense at all. He just know one thing, it’s like zero gravity. And that is all he needs to know. Or so he thought. Until he sees the angelic smile, the presence of white he never understands, clearer than ever, for the first time.

He opens his eyes, back to reality. The rooftop door opens as he turns around. She smiles at him.

“It’s you.”

It’s his Arts partner.


Day 54

She catches him humming the tune while sketching and he almost dies of heart attack. He never knows who or what the white presence is, and he, being simple-minded and all decides not to bother. But the fact that her smile and the angelic smile is 120% the same did mess up with his poor brain. In the end, somehow, he ends up telling her about it. When he is done, he steals a glance at her face and has the sudden urge to jump from the 4th floor. But instead of being shocked and all she smiles and thank him for telling her that before runs to the rooftop door.

He did not buy any of it.


Day 66

He finishes the 5th sketch of her at the rooftop yet somehow he is not satisfied. There is something missing in it, he knows, but he is too tired to figure out what it is. His insomniac problem the past few days does not help much either. He is about to hum the tune and lost in the clouds when the door opens, and she walks up to him. She is full of smiles as she thanks him again and again for telling her what she assumes as the out-of-the-body experience. She hands him a poster and immediately it all dawns up to him. It seems that she had joined a club already and decided on it right after he finished told her the bewildering story.

“I’ll re-learn the move to fly.”

He nods knowingly as she smiles. When she gets up to leave, she gives him one of the best smiles she has and he finds out the missing piece instantly. He picks up his canvas and starts to draw.


Day 76

He looks at his sketch of her, a big marvelous A at the back of the canvas. His Art teacher must have liked the piece so much he offers to buy it from him, which he politely declines. She smiles, bright and all as the teacher displays it for all to see. But she smiles even brighter as he gives the sketch to her as a present. Inside his bag is a sketch of him sleeping, which might earn her a better A if she hand it to the teacher. Somehow, she did not do so.

Her first sketch of him being awkward and all earn a B++, and she is satisfied already, much to his amusement.


Day 59

The class ends earlier than usual today, as everybody excluding him is busy with the meetings for the upcoming school festival. The festival is less than 2 months from now but the excitement already fill up the air around him, not like he really cares. He gathers up his belongings and makes his way out when he bumps into his Arts teacher at the door.

“I was looking for you! Can you help me for a bit? Well, it’s the usual thing actually, if you don’t mind this time...”
“Ok.”

He answers before the teacher can even finish his sentence, and smiles, agreeing.


Day 82

The hallway is full with posters for the upcoming festival and he do not fail to recognize one of them as the one she showed him before. Black and white contradicts yet beautifully blends with each other. He does not exaggerating when he thinks that the poster outshines the others in terms of Arts. Maybe the black background color leaves an impression to him. He always loves black in his painting as he thinks its mystery, cool, and beautiful.

“The poster is not just pretty, don’t you think?”

He nods. There is a certain aura perhaps on it that makes it stand out. He wonders who creates it but then again it must be one of teachers. It’s from the Arts department after all.

“Do you have some time? There is something I want to show you.”

He simply nods and follows her from behind. The festival has always been considered as the biggest event in the school after the graduation and the whole school is getting involved, whether in exhibitions, performances, anything to make it more interesting. While many would prefer to take part or even organizing and be in-charge, he feels contempt enough to observe the situation from the rooftop, and scribble something. If he is in the mood he might even sketch on his canvas, or just strolling around aimlessly.

They reach the third floor and there are less people around. Most of the rooms on this floor belonged to the old clubs that do not even existed or function now and left abandoned, for new clubs occupies the first or the second floor of this building. He is a member of the Arts club, though he never even goes to the club’s meeting once to save his life, he only joins because it is compulsory for each student to participate in co-curriculum activities. The advisor of the club, who is also, happens to be his class’ Arts teacher never really mined his behavior, as long as he helps him occasionally with the Arts gallery outside the club room. And he does not mind one bit. He loves drawing, sketching, painting, anything to do with Art. He can never grow tired or bored with it.

She stops in front of the door of the room which is at the far end of the hallway, opening it and motions him inside. Somehow, he feels like he just loses himself and when he realizes it he can feel his eyes grow wider at the sight and he turns to face her. Shock and surprised clearly written on his face.

Her smile is so bright it can beat the sun effortlessly.


Day 71

Somehow, he ends up falling asleep at the rooftop and for the first time in his life, he skips the Arts class, much to his own chagrin. When he wakes up he realizes that he had skips almost 3 classes already, with the Arts class at the beginning of his schedule. Grabbing his canvas and his bag he rushes to the teacher’s office; today is the due date for the Arts project. As he runs, his surroundings are nothing but a blur; grey and white filling the background, like his sketch. He can hear nothing but his own heart pounding hard, threatening to escape from his ribs. He can hardly feel his legs, as if it has gone numb already. Somehow, he feels like he is in a different world altogether, for he can feel like his body is flying, and even his poor brain knows that it is not possible, at least not to him.

He blinks once, twice, three times, and he is a goner.


Day 19

He is not one with sports; at least that is what he thinks. Like now, when everybody is baring the heat and shouting their lungs out to support their team in the competitions, he is up here, at the rooftops, looking down and rolling his pencil between the fingers, searching for something good to sketch. It is the final day of the Sports Week and all the final events are being held today, which explains the high atmosphere on the air at the moment. He enjoys this actually, the spirit of everything, for it may be a great idea and subject for his art. The scorching sun shines brightly and the breeze that blows softly adds up to the blissful feeling. He hums the nameless tune and closes his eyes, feeling his heart grows lighter. The sound of paper catches him off guard and before he knows it his sketches are already scattered high above him, gone with the wind. The sight is fascinating, even to him. He must have forgotten to put his bag on them so that they will not go off, like now. Realizing the situation, he immediately snaps his head and watches in horror as all his precious sketches fly away from him and falling to the ground. He cannot bear losing them, not his sketches. One step backwards, two, and he runs off, determines to get them back.

He runs and runs, like there is no tomorrow.


Day 82

He is ready to run now. He can feel his head thumping hard, dizzy. His breathing quickens in pace, makes himself choke of air. He does not want to see it; he does not want to remember. He has been successful in forgetting it all completely before, he would not let it all go in vain. He feels angry with himself; he should have seen this coming, and it is not like he does not know what the room they are entering used to be before, he knows it damn too well, for he had spent almost all his time in school avoiding it like a plague. He closes his eyes, turns back to the door where she is still standing and ready to make a dash for it when she shield the door with her body, the right arm spread out, leaving him no room for the door. No matter how indifferent a person he is, he does not think that he could just simply runs past her straight away. He is a boy after all, there must be a difference in their strength, he might hurt her somewhere along the way, and he does not want to do that. He does not think he can bear it, hurting a girl. And for the first time he hates himself for being so considerate when he feels like dying himself just by simply be there.

He takes a step forward, and when their eyes meet, he can see flashes of determination in the pair of hazel eyes, she just will never let him go easily for sure. Still, he wants to leave, and he takes his chances, by moving another step closer, yet, she is still there. This extreme twist of event is perhaps a bit too much to his brain he cannot seems to think straight but he do knows that this girl is indeed stronger than she looks, heck she does not even flinch one bit!

The air somehow becomes so thick and tense he does not know what to do. She knows, he thinks. She knows something, she might already know him somewhere before, it is weird for somebody to be friendly with him anyway, no matter how kind a person is. He has to admit that she is a kind girl, and all this thinking is driving him up the wall. He is tired now, the silence is killing him and his mind has gone blank. He wants to go, leave the room, the music room with the black grand piano. He cannot take this, not after all these years. He hangs his head low, walks to the door, not even sparing a glance or look at her. He only stops when the only thing separating him with the big wooden door is her right arm spread across. Her eyes are still on his, eyeing his very movement, never let go. He reaches over to the doorknob and she breaks the silence.

“I’m not going to let you leave, no, not anymore.”

He takes another step and turns the knob.

“You heart and mind may forget it all but your body remembers. When you saw the piano you went straight to it, you opened the piano lid. You stop just before you hit the key.”

Slowly, he grabs her arm with his right hand, pushing it aside, clearing the way and opens the door. There is a strong sense of déja vu the moment he steps outside.

“Don’t you get it? The tune you’ve been humming to? I know that you know what I know.”

All that he knows is she is looking at him now, he can feel her stare on his back.

“Your color is grey.”

He walks on, does not elaborate further. She might not get what he means by it, but maybe she does, he does not know. From the end of the empty hallway, her voice reaches him before he disappears from her sight.

“I’m not letting you runaway...”

It echoes between them.

“...again.”


Remember, comments are loved! ^^

Music of the day: Jay Sean- Ride It

P/S: I don't know much about him though remember loved his song Stolen some years ago...I came across this mv on Hitz.Tv just before I wrote this post and even though I watched about only the halfway end of it the song just caught me off-guard! You can say I don't really care much about the story behind the mv but focusing on the song instead! Love the chorus and the melody easily make its way towards my head...

Just imagine it, the moment I sit down in front of my laptop the first thing I do is search for the song on Google and download it and now listening to it on repeat mode...haha~ Too bad the song is short (less than 3 minutes! Going to search if there's a longer version)...and apparently this song is his cover from the original singer JJ 650 (have no idea who the hell is this).

I'm going to put it on my playlist after this (the page loads damn slow) so hope that it'll be there when you read this! If don't, just stay around for I'll be damn sure going to put it on my playlist! Also, just so you know, I watched it on the section (?) Soulfood on Hitz...who knows you might come across it too! ^^

~The-hopeful Heiji
EDIT: The-hopeful-giving-up Heiji

He keeps on telling himself, it's fine, everything's fine, but he knows it's useless lying, the look on the person in front tells him all that he needs to know. Still, he wants to at least assures himself that, so he says it.

"I'm fine."

The eyes shines with pity and he has the sudden urge to walk away. He can almost hear the next words in his head even before he hears it.

"If that's the truth, then why?"

He does not want to hear it.

"Why are you crying?"

A Butterfly, A Louvre, and (Not) A Freer -Part 1-

Hi! Hisashiburi desu ne~ It's been awhile, isn't it? LOL. Internet at home seems to hate me more than at KAL...I've been downloading one file for more than 3 times to finally able to complete downloading it! And I thought I can download like crazy at home...guess not then...*sigh*



To make my life more miserable, it's been raining non-stop for 2 days now and our beloved home is in high-risk of being flooded! Talk about disaster...before I start rambling though, this is late but Happy AidilAdha to all the Muslims reading this! It's damn late, I know, but then, why not? Nothing much happened last Raya and so as my journey back home so I don't/won't post anything about it...though I did learn something the hard way...

Anyway! Back to the main topic of this post, I'm (finally) posting the one-shot I mentioned here! Yay! Another thing from my list~ As you can see for yourself at the title above, this is the first part of the story...making this not really a one-shot but a three-shot instead...yeah...on my way writing the third part now...I'm hopeless, didn't I? Interestingly enough, I finished Part 2 first then Part 1 (though I made a HUGE editing on it later on)! Really...pardon this weird writer..heh~ About the title...it'll make sense after you reach the last part...as each thing associates with different parts of the story...like..Part 1 is the butterfly, part 2 is the louvre and so on..if you can guess what does it mean it'll be great! ^^ Mind you, I'm not telling...haha~

Darn it, I ramble to much! Here goes the story then! Also dedicated to a friend of mine that practically wants to kill me for not finishing this quick before she went back to holiday...you know who you are...^^

A BUTTERFLY, A LOUVRE, AND (NOT) A FREER

Part 1

Bolero- The whisper of yesterday’s fantasy
In a form of a grey butterfly

On the floating darkness of the moon’s stage
I saw you dancing in my dreams

Day 1

It was a dream.

He does not quite sure at first, but when his History teacher kicks him out of the class it becomes clear enough for him to understand. Still, even after standing outside for almost one hour period he can still hear whispers of the soft melody in his ears. He blames it on the loud speaker his roommate ‘accidentally’ put beside his ears this morning; in an attempt to wake him up, or so he said.

He did not buy any of it.


Day 27

The air buzzes with excitement; a new student is coming, or so they said. He does not bother, just shrug it off and immediately falls asleep the moment his head touches the desk. He wakes up with a jolt when his Math teacher screams her lungs out and he is kicked out of the class, again. He feels his body burns like fire and he might just catch a fever. Still, he stands there like nothing happens, an angelic smile etched in his brain along with the beautiful melody from what he assumes as the dream like before. When he collapsed later and found himself in the nurse’s office he blames it on the insomnia he suffered the past few days, though the nurse simply said he sleeps too much.

He did not buy any of it.


Day 46

The whole class let out a frustrated groan when the Arts teacher announced the theme of the next project, humans; as in your own partner. He is truly awake now, Arts is his favorite and perhaps his best subject; although some may say that he still look half-sleepy. He blames it on his droopy eyes but he is not one to care much about other’s opinion on him, so he drops the blame off. Besides, he likes his eyes the way it is. Throwing his glance out of the window, he starts scribbling randomly on the canvas. The odd number of students in the class leaves him with no partner to begin with, not like he cares anyway. Everybody starts moving around and discussing the project when he suddenly feels a presence behind him. He turns just in time to catch all eyes on him, especially the guys, much to his dismay. He do not speak much in class, the odd one out after all, and heck he do not even knows the name of his classmate save for the class president! Ignoring them altogether he turns to the person behind him, a girl, with a beautiful smile and silky long blonde hair.

“The teacher says that you will be my partner. May I sit here?”


Day 27

“Class, this is your new classmate, please be nice to her, ok?”

The boys are all nodding enthusiastically, hearts forming in their eyes, much to the annoyance of the girls. The new girl smiles warmly, eyeing her new classmates and notices a boy sleeping at the far end of the row seat, next to the window. She takes a seat at the back, an empty seat separating her and the sleeping boy. Her warm and kind nature won the hearts of the girls and she even find lots of new friends in her first day. By the end of the day, she gets to know the name of everybody in the class and befriend them but the sleeping boy who happens to collapse after standing for two hours outside of the class as detention for sleeping.


Day 46

He eyes her with a confused look in the face. He is absolutely sure that he does not have a partner but then again he might be wrong somehow, he never notices his surroundings after all. He remembered before that they got themselves a new student but he did not quite sure which one is it. Shrugging his messy thought off he just nods and the girl sits beside him, still smiling. He nods in acknowledgement; he does not interact much with people, let alone girls, and turns to focus on his canvas again, putting a new one to get ready for the project. He can feel intense stares from his classmates, mostly from the boys, for this girl is indeed pretty. Perhaps they are jealous of him for being able to have her as a partner, not like he really cares.

“So, who should start draw first?”
“I don’t mine.”
“Then, can I start?”

He simply nods and is about to stand when she stops him.

“Just stay like that, its fine already. I can draw best from a person’s side rather than in front.”

He sits again as she turns to face him, her canvas between them and starts drawing. He throws his glance out again and starts sketching. Deep inside he feels glad that he do not have to face her, for it will be awkward enough for him. Still, even in this position he feels bad already as he can feel her eyes on him. Focusing on the sketch he pretends like his alone, like she is not there at the first place.


Day 47

She enters the supposed-to-be-empty class to find her Arts partner sleeping on his seat. The head on the desk, both arms act as a pillow, the body touches the wall, as the face turns to his right, meaning he faces the class. The ray of sunlight shines in through the window and hits his body. She finds it a beautiful sight. Taking her seat like before, she pulls out her canvas, and starts to draw.


Day 53

“I finished my sketch so it should be your turn now.”
“Ok.”

He nods. She turns and makes her way to the door before she turns once again.

“Are you sure you only need my picture? We can arrange some time, I’ll be glad to help. You’re my partner after all.”

He just shook his head and smiles a bit, meaning it’s more than enough already. She nods and starts moving again.

“Good luck!”

He nods as the door closes. He attaches the full-body picture of her on top-left of his canvas, closes his eyes, hums the unknown melody and starts sketching.


Day 35

He stands there, at the rooftop. There is no one around for it is actually class time. If he is a studious student he will be in class paying attention to Biology right now, but apparently he is not so he skipped the class instead. He always sucks at Biology anyway, and somehow he is just not in the mood. He closes his eyes, feeling the wind, and he hums the beautiful melody. Somehow, he knows it by heart already. Anybody would, he thinks, when there’s nothing you can hear but the melody whenever you closes your eyes. He calls it a dream, but it’s not like he sleeps every time. Well most of the time he did but this is different. He tries to understand further but he finds himself lost track of the melody and it irritates him somehow as his head starts to hurt. He is not a bright one in thinking after all so he decides to drop it off.


Day 50

He closes his eyes, relaxing himself. Soon enough he is overwhelm with the melody, lifting him up, crushing into the sky. He can barely feel the ground beneath him. The first few times it happened he think about it too much he developed a massive headache he thought he was going to die. But as time passes by he slowly adapt to the situation and somehow, he likes it. He no longer wants to analyze or try to fight it. He does not even care if it makes no sense at all. He just know one thing, it’s like zero gravity. And that is all he needs to know. Or so he thought. Until he sees the angelic smile, the presence of white he never understands, clearer than ever, for the first time.

He opens his eyes, back to reality. The rooftop door opens as he turns around. She smiles at him.

“It’s you.”

It’s his Arts partner.


Day 54

She catches him humming the tune while sketching and he almost dies of heart attack. He never knows who or what the white presence is, and he, being simple-minded and all decides not to bother. But the fact that her smile and the angelic smile is 120% the same did mess up with his poor brain. In the end, somehow, he ends up telling her about it. When he is done, he steals a glance at her face and has the sudden urge to jump from the 4th floor. But instead of being shocked and all she smiles and thank him for telling her that before runs to the rooftop door.

He did not buy any of it.


Day 66

He finishes the 5th sketch of her at the rooftop yet somehow he is not satisfied. There is something missing in it, he knows, but he is too tired to figure out what it is. His insomniac problem the past few days does not help much either. He is about to hum the tune and lost in the clouds when the door opens, and she walks up to him. She is full of smiles as she thanks him again and again for telling her what she assumes as the out-of-the-body experience. She hands him a poster and immediately it all dawns up to him. It seems that she had joined a club already and decided on it right after he finished told her the bewildering story.

“I’ll re-learn the move to fly.”

He nods knowingly as she smiles. When she gets up to leave, she gives him one of the best smiles she has and he finds out the missing piece instantly. He picks up his canvas and starts to draw.


Day 76

He looks at his sketch of her, a big marvelous A at the back of the canvas. His Art teacher must have liked the piece so much he offers to buy it from him, which he politely declines. She smiles, bright and all as the teacher displays it for all to see. But she smiles even brighter as he gives the sketch to her as a present. Inside his bag is a sketch of him sleeping, which might earn her a better A if she hand it to the teacher. Somehow, she did not do so.

Her first sketch of him being awkward and all earn a B++, and she is satisfied already, much to his amusement.


Day 59

The class ends earlier than usual today, as everybody excluding him is busy with the meetings for the upcoming school festival. The festival is less than 2 months from now but the excitement already fill up the air around him, not like he really cares. He gathers up his belongings and makes his way out when he bumps into his Arts teacher at the door.

“I was looking for you! Can you help me for a bit? Well, it’s the usual thing actually, if you don’t mind this time...”
“Ok.”

He answers before the teacher can even finish his sentence, and smiles, agreeing.


Day 82

The hallway is full with posters for the upcoming festival and he do not fail to recognize one of them as the one she showed him before. Black and white contradicts yet beautifully blends with each other. He does not exaggerating when he thinks that the poster outshines the others in terms of Arts. Maybe the black background color leaves an impression to him. He always loves black in his painting as he thinks its mystery, cool, and beautiful.

“The poster is not just pretty, don’t you think?”

He nods. There is a certain aura perhaps on it that makes it stand out. He wonders who creates it but then again it must be one of teachers. It’s from the Arts department after all.

“Do you have some time? There is something I want to show you.”

He simply nods and follows her from behind. The festival has always been considered as the biggest event in the school after the graduation and the whole school is getting involved, whether in exhibitions, performances, anything to make it more interesting. While many would prefer to take part or even organizing and be in-charge, he feels contempt enough to observe the situation from the rooftop, and scribble something. If he is in the mood he might even sketch on his canvas, or just strolling around aimlessly.

They reach the third floor and there are less people around. Most of the rooms on this floor belonged to the old clubs that do not even existed or function now and left abandoned, for new clubs occupies the first or the second floor of this building. He is a member of the Arts club, though he never even goes to the club’s meeting once to save his life, he only joins because it is compulsory for each student to participate in co-curriculum activities. The advisor of the club, who is also, happens to be his class’ Arts teacher never really mined his behavior, as long as he helps him occasionally with the Arts gallery outside the club room. And he does not mind one bit. He loves drawing, sketching, painting, anything to do with Art. He can never grow tired or bored with it.

She stops in front of the door of the room which is at the far end of the hallway, opening it and motions him inside. Somehow, he feels like he just loses himself and when he realizes it he can feel his eyes grow wider at the sight and he turns to face her. Shock and surprised clearly written on his face.

Her smile is so bright it can beat the sun effortlessly.


Day 71

Somehow, he ends up falling asleep at the rooftop and for the first time in his life, he skips the Arts class, much to his own chagrin. When he wakes up he realizes that he had skips almost 3 classes already, with the Arts class at the beginning of his schedule. Grabbing his canvas and his bag he rushes to the teacher’s office; today is the due date for the Arts project. As he runs, his surroundings are nothing but a blur; grey and white filling the background, like his sketch. He can hear nothing but his own heart pounding hard, threatening to escape from his ribs. He can hardly feel his legs, as if it has gone numb already. Somehow, he feels like he is in a different world altogether, for he can feel like his body is flying, and even his poor brain knows that it is not possible, at least not to him.

He blinks once, twice, three times, and he is a goner.


Day 19

He is not one with sports; at least that is what he thinks. Like now, when everybody is baring the heat and shouting their lungs out to support their team in the competitions, he is up here, at the rooftops, looking down and rolling his pencil between the fingers, searching for something good to sketch. It is the final day of the Sports Week and all the final events are being held today, which explains the high atmosphere on the air at the moment. He enjoys this actually, the spirit of everything, for it may be a great idea and subject for his art. The scorching sun shines brightly and the breeze that blows softly adds up to the blissful feeling. He hums the nameless tune and closes his eyes, feeling his heart grows lighter. The sound of paper catches him off guard and before he knows it his sketches are already scattered high above him, gone with the wind. The sight is fascinating, even to him. He must have forgotten to put his bag on them so that they will not go off, like now. Realizing the situation, he immediately snaps his head and watches in horror as all his precious sketches fly away from him and falling to the ground. He cannot bear losing them, not his sketches. One step backwards, two, and he runs off, determines to get them back.

He runs and runs, like there is no tomorrow.


Day 82

He is ready to run now. He can feel his head thumping hard, dizzy. His breathing quickens in pace, makes himself choke of air. He does not want to see it; he does not want to remember. He has been successful in forgetting it all completely before, he would not let it all go in vain. He feels angry with himself; he should have seen this coming, and it is not like he does not know what the room they are entering used to be before, he knows it damn too well, for he had spent almost all his time in school avoiding it like a plague. He closes his eyes, turns back to the door where she is still standing and ready to make a dash for it when she shield the door with her body, the right arm spread out, leaving him no room for the door. No matter how indifferent a person he is, he does not think that he could just simply runs past her straight away. He is a boy after all, there must be a difference in their strength, he might hurt her somewhere along the way, and he does not want to do that. He does not think he can bear it, hurting a girl. And for the first time he hates himself for being so considerate when he feels like dying himself just by simply be there.

He takes a step forward, and when their eyes meet, he can see flashes of determination in the pair of hazel eyes, she just will never let him go easily for sure. Still, he wants to leave, and he takes his chances, by moving another step closer, yet, she is still there. This extreme twist of event is perhaps a bit too much to his brain he cannot seems to think straight but he do knows that this girl is indeed stronger than she looks, heck she does not even flinch one bit!

The air somehow becomes so thick and tense he does not know what to do. She knows, he thinks. She knows something, she might already know him somewhere before, it is weird for somebody to be friendly with him anyway, no matter how kind a person is. He has to admit that she is a kind girl, and all this thinking is driving him up the wall. He is tired now, the silence is killing him and his mind has gone blank. He wants to go, leave the room, the music room with the black grand piano. He cannot take this, not after all these years. He hangs his head low, walks to the door, not even sparing a glance or look at her. He only stops when the only thing separating him with the big wooden door is her right arm spread across. Her eyes are still on his, eyeing his very movement, never let go. He reaches over to the doorknob and she breaks the silence.

“I’m not going to let you leave, no, not anymore.”

He takes another step and turns the knob.

“You heart and mind may forget it all but your body remembers. When you saw the piano you went straight to it, you opened the piano lid. You stop just before you hit the key.”

Slowly, he grabs her arm with his right hand, pushing it aside, clearing the way and opens the door. There is a strong sense of déja vu the moment he steps outside.

“Don’t you get it? The tune you’ve been humming to? I know that you know what I know.”

All that he knows is she is looking at him now, he can feel her stare on his back.

“Your color is grey.”

He walks on, does not elaborate further. She might not get what he means by it, but maybe she does, he does not know. From the end of the empty hallway, her voice reaches him before he disappears from her sight.

“I’m not letting you runaway...”

It echoes between them.

“...again.”

A/N: How is it then? Kudos to those who spot the reference to David Archuleta's song in there...Comments are love~

EDIT: This is one of the rare times I hate my blog...(seriously considering on starting the first post on Livejournal) I already have different settings for this story, one part being at the middle, at the very right of the page, and so on but when I post it, it all becomes just plain paragraphs...I don't know whether it is just me not knowing much on blogging (mind you, I'm new here) or it's just the way it is...people, help me before I end up killing somebody out of frustration...(the nearest might-be victim is my pillow) do help me~

Music of the day: Gundam Seed- River

P/S: This is one of the OSTs for the anime Mobile Suit Gundam Seed...I have to say I never watch the anime and don't really have the intention to do so...not really a fan of Gundam after all...but have to say they got pretty good songs for the soundtrack...and this is the one I like most! I have no idea who the singer is (his voice is charming for me) but the remix version of this song (will put it in my playlist later if I found it) have the name as Tatsuya Ishii...so that might be the singer...going to search for him in Wikipedia after this...the opening guitar part is really good and I'm seriously thinking of looking for the instrumental version of the song...do try listen to it people! As always, it's in my playlist...^^

Noticed that my post usually comes out during late at night..same goes to my writing...maybe internet results in the insomniac me? *gasp*

-Still-not-too-sleepy-at-3AM Heiji
EDIT: -And-damn-frustrated-like-what Heiji

He peeks from the small opening of the door, fears he might get caught. Curiosity kills the cat, they say, but he is not sure whether it can kill people too.

Slowly, he opens the door wider and steps outside. He can hears a squeak from behind him, he knows he has been discovered already. Still, this is one of the rare chance he gets, and he knows, it is now or never.

He runs off towards the open arms of the world, and never looks back.

Even for once.