Because I can't decide which is more appropriate to describe myself today.
I have bouts of mood swings at times; like, there are times I want to yell (I don't), sleep for 20 hours (I don't), cry (lol I don't), or just numb (this is common). Worse case scenario, I'll go on bouts of writing spree and thinking and create drafts and regretting myself because my WIP folder makes me feel mad and giving me the urge to delete everything (I don't).
It starts last night, actually.
I am a fan of Daiya no A (or some of you may be more familiar with Ace of Diamond) and I found out some person on Tumblr had done the scanlation until chapter 200++ and being an impatient person myself, go on and spoil myself.
Safe to say it made me depressed.
And then a bout of identity crisis makes me even more depressed and that's when the idea of making emo as the topic hatched in my brain. But of course, things never worked out easily my way.
(lol as if I make the terribly emo post public here for everyone to see; likely it'll be another psychological-ish musing instead)
I checked the anime site just for the hell of it and what do you know; Mushishi Zoku Shou got the 1st ep out.
All the emo-ish thoughts (it's still there, but diminish greatly) go flying out the window once the download's done. Maybe I'm too easy to please, or maybe because I've waiting for this since forever, but after I'm done I calmed down so much it's crazy; like I attained the zen-like condition or something.
Such is the power of Mushishi.
(it's also worth noted that it's the first time I saw the three younger sisters been so quiet watching anime when I give them the ep later, it's almost amazing)
By now I'm back to the numb state (lol) and start cranking for ideas so hopefully I'll come up with something good this time around. God knows I need to distract myself enough because there's another week for the new ep ugh OTL.
After all, I'm no good with emotion, and I don't know if it shows (I do admit I can be a tad gullible at times though) but as much as I prided myself with the ability to write (sorta) I'm no good with talking; specifically when it's about myself to other people.
Perhaps that's why I'm so reluctant on letting this blog go; because it's the least I can do to try to open myself up, albeit just a tiny little bit.
And it's good to know I have a space to myself to vent, when all I think about is how much I-
Hold on a second now, self. That will veer this back to the emo territory, so let's just end things here.
I have enough venting for now anyways, ha. And this post hardly make any sense as it is, I guess.
~the rambling-too-much Heiji
Music of the Day: 30 Seconds to Mars - Savior