Or, the zero in the title above can be interpreted on many things, like:
- the chances that there will be zero post here on the course of May and possibly June (since I have to buckle up and write for that damn challenge already damnit).
- the zero feeling in me when I don't open the Blogspot to write a new post come almost-midnight tomorrow.
- the need to readjust all the writing here to MS Word instead and be concrete when I have gotten used to just type whatever that come in the usually blank (zero) mind of mine.
Thinking about parting with this almost-habit actually kind of hurts, somehow.
I came into joining the challenge in an impulse of not letting this blog die and with the initial mindset of not taking this as seriously as I should, and simply get on with the ride. I'm quite excited about it at first, and already planned on
And true to that, I did enjoy the best on those two consecutive days while also had a hard time to write because my failings means that I can't do justice for them. Ironically, they became the next-to hardest posts written over the course of the challenge (the hardest goes to wreck that is Q for Quest, seriously; how do you do Q?!)
And then there's the winding down of excitement after the said two posts (days), resulting in me feeling like I'm unable to continue doing this (explained wearily in the U for Uncomfortable post) but somehow I buckled up and here we are.
This is the zero point of the countdown. The ending. The final stretch to the finish line.
And I'm not as happy as I thought I would be yesterday.
There was a part in me that rejoice the fact that I won't have to blabber stupidly on the net day by day because of some challenge before this, but that part of mine had gone away as the day came closer still to midnight.
Is it me being cryptic out of nowhere? Is it regret of not being able to feel the rush of meeting the dateline every single damn day again? Or is it simply me being emo (again)?
I don't quite know what this heaviness supposed to mean, hell I don't even know what all this is supposed to be either, but maybe doing this challenge had somehow become a sorta highlight of my day over this month, that I'm reluctant to let go of the constant routine.
Of course, had I really wish for it, I can just continue with my own version of AtoZ challenge starting tomorrow; like, just make one post using whatever letter I fancy and continue on till whenever a.k.a constant blogging but that won't do I think.
For starters I need to get to the long-neglected minibang challenge, and perhaps, the charm of doing thsi kind of challenge will get lost in time had I continue it only for my own self-satisfaction. Like, it won't feel special anymore? I guess.
I might find it hard to blog again after this, and this blog might (uh oh) fall into the almost dead state again, but at least I manage to write a post a day continuously in a freaking month sans Sunday, so as far as goals go, I say it's a huge success considering the state of this blog for the past couple of years.
I will write, albeit fiction this coming time around, and maybe, just maybe, drop a post here and there in between, hopefully.
As weird as this might come off, I'm truly am happy I joined the AtoZ challenge, and if God willing, I'll do it again next year.
Kudos to all the people who create this kind of thing to begin with, the organizers, the assistants, and all the people who drop by, read my no-nonsense posts, and the ones who actually left comments; thank you so much and pardon me for the late/lack of reply, I'll get on to it soon. OTL.
And apparently there's a reflecting thing going on May (I'm almost done with this when I feel like going up the main blog and saw it OTL) but I've done it all here so how? Maybe I'll skip on that one or if it's possible to use this one instead, maybe I'll just use it -I don't know lol. Somebody enlighten me please?
Regardless of that tiny issue above, really, for making it an enjoyable and exciting April, thank you so much!
~ the sorta-touched-and-slightly-regretful-for-this-is-the-end Heiji
Music of the Day: Laura Marling - Night Terror